I Am No Cook

Introduction to My Lack of Cooking Ability

This is for the Vocal Summer Food Challenge in conjunction with Camp Foods.

I have included my video of The Coyotemen playing "Can She Cook" which is appropriate for this story.

I put a couple of my cooking attempts on Instagram and Youtube and some people enjoyed them. My Vocal friend Mariann Carroll suggested I document them as a Vocal Story so I will take that up. There are two recipes here. One is Jack Monroe’s Peach and Chickpea Curry (Vegan) and the other is a Salmon in Tomato and Mascarpone dish (Not even Vegetarian)

Although these are cooked dishes they are great especially in summer as they are not heavy.

I seldom use measures just throwing in stuff that I think may be right.

Jack Monroe’s Peach and Chickpea Curry

My first reaction to this was “Fruit as the main ingredient in a curry?” but I went with it. Jack Monroe is a single parent who has made a living creating very cheap meal recipes for people on or below the breadline, although her meals are excellent for everyone, and of course very cheap to make.

You should be able to watch my video of the gorgeous meal.

Jack suggested you could use Mandarin Oranges instead of Peaches but that didn’t work for me, Apricots, however did work. So that is my suggestion.

I just follow Jack’s recipe and instructions which are on her site below and by going there you will see lots of other ways to make unbelievable nutritious, simple and economical meals. This costs 22p (I assume per person)

Tinned Pink Salmon in Tomato and Mascarpone Sauce

This is something that I have made for years and is fairly simple and great with rice or pasta.

Ingredients:

• Tin of Chopped Tomatoes
• Tin of Salmon Pink or Red
• Mascarpone and Tomato Sauce
• Cayenne Pepper
• Chilli Powder , Flakes or Fresh
• Cayenne Pepper
• Worcester Sauce
• Tabasco
• Sriracha Sauce
• Tomato Puree (To Thicken)
• Garlic Puree
• Button Mushrooms
• Parmesan Cheese

You can watch what I do in the video, as it’s my channel everyone should be able to see it.

Put the Tomatoes, Salmon, Button Mushrooms in the pan and cook on a medium heat, stirring with a wooden spoon. This is the main part to get you going.

Then add the purees, sauces, cayenne pepper and chilli to your taste. As I say I don't measure this out, for me it is all guesswork. The only things that have a definite measure are the Chopped Tomatoes, the Salmon and the Mascarpone and Tomato Sauce.

Once everything is in the pan and stirred up together let it cook for maybe forty minutes or an hour. If it gets a little too liquid add some tomato puree to thicken it up.

In the video I eat it with pasta and topped with grated parmesan.

Concluding My Inability To Cook

These are just two meals that I cook regularly and to be honest they are probably different every time I make them, it becomes a veritable culinary adventure. As yet everything I have made has always been more than edible.

I often do omelettes and other quick cooked meals so saying I am no cook is not quite true, if you came round to my house and were starving I could rustle up something for you from canned and fresh ingredients.

I also don’t have a microwave but I have never missed one. If I had one I would just use it for making instant coffee with oat milk (it really tastes lush) and the odd baked potato.