The Most Precious Gift We Can Give To Our Children

The most puzzling yet understandable questions and concerns of parenthood I hear from young married couples, or first-time prospective parents who are contemplating starting a family of their own are :

1. We don't have enough money. Kids are expensive.

2. I don't know what to provide or teach them to get them ready for their futures.

Those two concerns seem sensible and reasonable, but I believe that they came about from misguided and limited beliefs that society has perpetually passed down from one generation to the next. It is about time that we put to stop such unnecessary worries and limitations to our life.

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1. Myth: Money is essential for raising children.

Ever since humans have started using currency to exchange services, making money has become a purpose of life instead of one of the means to live. Thanks to the invention of currency, we have the freedom to do things that are pleasurable and enjoyable in the modern world. Without currencies, we have no choice but to build shelters, find water to drink, make food to eat, and look after our young and weak 24/7. No choice. Money has given humanity progress and expansion with the freedom to choose what we do to make our living.

However, money also had confused and brought greed in material and power among mankind. All those basic activities, chores we call them, can be taken care of by employing others with wages and salaries. Money has the power to provide freedom to do what we want and choose to do with the time that is no longer necessary to do chores. Because of it, society placed overvalued and overestimated the importance of money when in reality, "TIME" is what we are to value and cherish. Not "MONEY" that made it possible. Money is useful to live an enriched and enjoyable life, but it is and has never been the answer to what we all seek in our life. Children or adults. Kids aren't expensive. They are not demanding expensive electronic devices to entertain them, or trips to Disneyland. They could care less about which school they go to. What they want is their parents' time and attention, not money. Please do not get confused with their needs and want with what you think they need.

2. Myth: Children need to go to good schools to thrive and become successful.

In my experience, many parents feel a huge burden and responsibility for what they can provide for their children, especially in the kid's education. I remember the time when my classmate who had 5 years old told me about how she could not stop worrying about her son not getting into the well-known kindergarten. Her exact words were, " When I was single, I didn't get why some parents are so determined to send them to the particular school willing to do anything. It's only kindergarten, right? I thought it was crazy to think and overly worried like that. I promised myself that I would not be one of those people. Now, look at me. I am one of them!"

Most cultures of so-called industrious, developed, technologically and economically advanced countries emphasized higher education and academic achievement. We tend to give credit to schooling and academically educated individuals for their success and abundance in life. Growing up in 1960 -1970 in Japan, I had experienced an education comes first foremost atmosphere and felt that the nation with focused on economic empowerment and competitions in the world. Society had encouraged to pursue higher education and degree for better life and happiness as the nation thrived on capitalizing on her people's achievement. It had worked in the most beneficial ways for the country and its citizens for a while, but there was some price to pay. It is an unfortunate truth that Japan has a very consistent high suicide rate.

Just as money, schooling /education can be helpful, it is not the key to bringing the result of what we truly hope for our children. Children learn from examples. Unfortunately, lecturing them and giving them knowledge through words does not work. You may make them do things you want, but it doesn't give them any foundations to build upon for them to have a fulfilled life you so wish for them to have. Even worse, it could possibly cause to inhibit their potential to thrive in the future.

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Every parent wants his/her child to grow a healthy, happy, and independent adult. Often time we feel that financial security is a must to provide what our children are most deserved and needed. In addition, we are brainwashed to believe that schooling at reputable institutions can give our children to have an advantage over others who don't. The world has changed and evolved beyond our comprehension. No longer do we measure and evaluate our ability or skills based on our education level. Computer technologies had changed how we conduct our daily business and communicate with each other.

According to the research that I found at least 4 to 5 years ago, 65 % of occupations we have today do not exist when kids under 5 years old enter the workforce. I can imagine for the last 5 years, the number probably increased dramatically. My guess is there would be 80% or more jobs that won't be available to humans due to technological advancement. The good news is that as the world changes, so are our needs and how we generate and spend money. The emergence of new and innovative occupations that we could never imagine creating due to their impracticality of them before, is not only a possibility but is a certainty in near future. That also means we do not know what kind of jobs are available for those children as well as what knowledge and skills would be needed to perform the jobs. What we teach our children now could become obsolete. I would go even further to say that it is already so. Even now, computers have taken over many jobs, and the development and implementation of AI could highly likely eliminate all the manual labor and many mechanical operations that are necessary for our daily life. Driving will become a pure enjoyment: so are cooking and cleaning, possibly teaching. As it is, there are quite competent and efficient online apps that can promote our learning effectively.

As the world changes and evolve, our life will change and so are we. If we resist the change, the universe will do it for us. Which is usually much more painful and harder experiences for the collective. What we need at this time is not persistence to preserve what we know, but flexibility and acceptance to flow with the change with trust that changes are for the better.

We all are learning to grow and experience together in this 3D world. So, it's okay that we don't feel like we are financially ready to have a child. It is okay that you know nothing about what to teach them, or which schools you should send them to. Because your greatest gift to your children is YOU.

YOU who love them unconditionally.

YOU who are doing the best to learn to live your own life knowing you don't know everything yet are willing to learn together with your children.

YOU who consciously live life with the appreciation of what you are blessed with. It's your time and attention your children need to learn and discover their unlimited potentials in them. Just as you need to find your untapped talents and gift within you.

Show them how you do that. Live your best life and be happy. Without a doubt, that is the greatest gift you can give to your children.

"Our children will one day lead the world, but it is our responsibility to show them that this world can be a beautiful one. "

- Karen A. Baquiran