How to Tell if Your Teenager is Lying

No. But it is common. Teens lie just because they want to test the boundaries. They are trying to see what they can get away with and what they can't. If you think back to your teen years, you likely did the same things. Or maybe you didn't. I didn't. I was one of those weird kids that didn't try to pull things of an actually believed that I should listen to my parents.

What do you know? you might be thinking. I know about teen lying because I have a teen that has tried every trick in the book. She had no idea that I had tricks of my own up my sleeve though and could tell when she was lying and could find the evidence to back it up!

The thing to remember is that although a little lie might seem harmful at first, it can lead to bigger lies. As I told my daughter, once you get away with one lie, it is so much easier to lie again. And then it gets easier to come up with excuses to lie. And it can become a spiral of lies that is so big that you have no clue how to work your way out of it. And eventually, it can land you is a mess of trouble!

So is it important to know when your teen is lying? Absolutely. It is a parent's job to teach them accountability. They need to answer for their actions. They need to learn that lying will only land them in more trouble because the truth almost always comes out at the end. It is your job to uncover the truth for their own safety.

Here are some questions to ask:

• Why do you think they are lying? Be sure that they really are before you accuse them of lying because if you accuse wrongly they will never trust you again. Asking them (or telling them) if they are lying even once when they are not quickly turns into, "You always accuse me of lying!" and they will never let you forget it - especially if they are lying the next time! Instead of accusing them, talk to them about the situation, ask questions, and let the truth come out.
• If they are lying, why is your teen lying? Remember that not all lying done purely with the intention of being deceitful. Teens might lie because they don't want to disappoint you or they are trying to impress you. It is important to let your teenager know that you are happy with who they are as long as they try their best.
• Are they lying to cover up trouble? Sometimes teens are just embarrassed about what they have done because they know it is wrong and they think that it is up to them to fix it. Talk to your teen often about various situations. Look for teachable moments (like a drug commercial on tv) so that it doesn't appear to be a lecture. Reassure them that no matter what kind of trouble they get into you will help them solve the problem and get help if they need it.

Be There for Your Teen

Remember that lying is not un-normal when it happens on occasion but when it happens often and the lies get bigger and bigger, it could be a sign that you have a troubled teen on your hands. Pay attention to the signs that your teen gives off, whether they are intentional or not. Listen when they want to talk to you because if you push them away even once, they will remember it forever. Take time to ask them what's up and then listen. Be there for your teen and they will be more likely to come to you for help when they need it, instead of their friends.

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