How to Maintain Attraction When First Meeting a Woman
Why Over-Communication Kills Interest and How to Keep the Mystery Alive
Once you first meet a lady, it's enticing to open up and tell her as much about yourself as possible. While you might initially be rewarded for your candid disclosure, you'll inevitably be rebuffed later on for giving away too much information too soon.
If you spend countless hours sending messages back and forth, texting and calling a lady, talking about your life, your dreams, and what you have for supper, you inadvertently kill attraction by revealing too much information. Regardless of whether or not you want to see a lady, it's always advisable to keep the calls and messages to a minimum. That doesn't mean you must act cold and distant, but it does mean you should be aware of the dangers of over-communication.
Case Study: Ingrid
Background:
Ingrid is a successful, attractive businesswoman in her mid-30s.
Since she works so much, she rarely has a chance to socialize.
Event:
Last week, at a tradeshow, Ingrid met two appealing guys, Ken and Phil.
Ingrid felt a surge of energy as she left the convention center, feeling wanted and desired by two men at the same time.
Sunday Morning:
Ingrid checks her phone and sees two messages, one from Ken and one from Phil.
Both men asked how she was doing. Ingrid responds by telling them she is heading out of town on a business trip for a couple of days.
Monday Evening:
Ingrid receives another message from Ken.
Ingrid and Ken chat for 20 minutes before Ken says goodnight.
Tuesday Morning:
Ingrid receives messages from both Ken and Phil.
Ken sends his customary good morning message.
Phil asks how long she would be away.
Ingrid responds to both men before heading off to work.
Tuesday Evening:
Ingrid receives another message from Ken.
They chat for 10 minutes before Ingrid tells Ken she must get back to work.
Later That Day:
Ingrid receives another message from Ken while she is in the shower.
Ken tells her how much he is looking forward to seeing her when she is back in town.
Wednesday Morning:
Ingrid receives a good morning message from Ken and nothing from Phil.
Ingrid has a quick conversation with Ken but wonders if she will ever hear from Phil again.
Thursday Morning:
Ingrid wakes up to the usual good morning message from Ken.
They chat for about 20 minutes before Ken invites her out for dinner on Saturday night.
With no other plans, Ingrid says yes. As for Phil, Ingrid hasn't heard from him since Tuesday and wonders if she will ever hear from him again.
Friday:
Ingrid receives a couple more messages from Ken, who tells her again how much he is looking forward to seeing her on the weekend.
On Friday afternoon, Ingrid receives an unexpected message from Phil asking if she'd like to meet up for drinks on Saturday evening.
Decision Time:
Ingrid feels conflicted as Ken has already booked dinner for the two of them.
She considers canceling on Ken but feels that if she doesn't see Phil on Saturday, she might never see him again.
She also knows that if she cancels on Ken, they can easily reschedule to meet up another time later in the week.
After thinking it over for a couple of minutes, Ingrid decides to cancel her date with Ken and meet Phil instead.
Although both men are attractive, Ingrid's intuition tells her that Phil is the more confident, high-value option.
Outcome:
Her intuition in this case turns out to be spot-on. Phil's reserved and less frequent communication style kept Ingrid captivated and curious about him, ultimately making him more attractive in her eyes.
Conclusion
This narrative highlights the importance of balancing communication to maintain attraction. Being too available and communicative can diminish attraction, while maintaining some mystery and restraint keeps the other person intrigued. It's about finding the right balance between showing interest and keeping an air of mystery, ensuring that you don’t reveal too much too soon and inadvertently kill the natural curiosity and excitement that come with getting to know someone new
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