A Couple Tips for New Parents

A beard? “Are you kidding me? Who has time to shave?” New babies can take up a lot of time. Especially a baby with colic.

My training lasted three days and I was away from home for 4 days. It could have been 5 days, but I was anxious to get home. One husband, and all done with babies except for grandchildren and great grandchildren. Then my husband has a rule that he doesn’t change diapers, so no babies overnight.

The no babies overnight rule I can whole heartedly agree with. I have not stepped in and said I will change them.

No. I have been too old for years to have a newborn or even someone that still wakes during the night to tend to. I let my husband know that I probably won’t be able to do that for him either and what will happen to him when no one wants to change his diapers if that time comes!

My daughter confessed, “Mom, I will change your diapers, but I won’t change John’s!” (Her stepdad). I thought that was hilarious out of the blue and probably ten years ago.

So, then I commented to his oldest son and his wife thinking it was a joke and the next time we were there, he assured us that they would take his dad. Problem solved. Then he said that he told his sister and she said, “How come you get dad and I have to have mom?” OMG So funny!

I guess we should be glad we will be taken care of. 😂 They really must think we are ancient. Now on to the topic.

One of my short conversations with a new dad, went something like this, “We really don’t like each other right now! We are breaking up and we haven’t decided about our daughter. I miss her.”

My contribution: It can easily take up to two years for a woman’s hormones to get back to normal. Or should I say it is normal for a woman to be affected by her hormones for two years after childbirth. That can contribute to discord.

Then I said, “Lack of sleep is another for both of you.” Then another is, “What about the postpartum depression that can happen? It is good to be aware of all of this.

Our Native American ancestors recommended having children 3 years apart, probably for this reason and there were others to step in and help out.

Couples can have trouble when the total focus of their relationship is their child. It is so important to have couple time too. I have noticed some sad and no smiles for each other coming from new parents. There is mostly joy and love that pours from couples prior to birth and even at birth.

Then a time of struggle. And when getting past that first couple years together is a major success! Couples that have been together a significant time prior to baby will know that this isn’t normal partner. They may not know that their partner is affected by birth and their hormones.

Another pregnant woman, due next month spoke of crying about any little thing. She cried about her niece graduating as she remembered her niece as a baby. Hormonal differences are beginning.

My expertise is not parenting babies, I am not a nurse. I have been a doula. Someone who assists pregnant women and their partner to get through childbirth and it can continue for a time after.

The things I mentioned are more common sense and you would be surprised how few people are aware of how hormones being out of the norm can affect us.

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First published by Badform