The Power of Words
Prose-style-poetic confession.
I understand the power of words...the power in the pen, in the turn of a phrase, a smile and relatively cordial attitude (that is how it is in my head, you understand) can be transformed into a saddening sorry mess of downturned lips and sunken cheeks. Then comes the waterworks. Oh, the Niagara tear falls from the victim of childhood curt cruelty. The weeping on a random Tuesday or Wednesday in January back in the 1980s when I was less grey, more a mop of the darkest untamed brown hair you'd swear was black. I did not have my patented belly hanging down either but had the appetite of a ferocious beast.
It was in response to a simple question, asked with such unrestrained glee and hope, which is still a little painful to recall. That I responded and shattered that poor boy’s insufferably positive outlook, perhaps for a short time, maybe a day, week, month, maybe year? Who really knows. He may still be reeling from it even today or perhaps it was lost in the annuls of time. It was just a split second response, that cut him like a knife - so visceral, so public -as he bled not blood but those salty tears of disappointment and exclusion. The follow-up was the blade pressing down to the hilt.
The simple question of "Can I come to your party?" and the quickest answer I've ever given to anything in my life, Mr Indecisive that I am, was "No" and even quicker was the follow-up to "Why not?" with "Because, I don't like you!".
Oh, the surge of shame that courses through me for a moment when I think back to that time, standing in line, to go to lunch or maybe back to class. The light breeze running along the narrow corridor and the calmness in the air that was punctured by the sudden, unwarranted attack (I would say unprovoked, but he did ask the question...he did ask the question).
The power of words is unmatched even by the power of science, war, famine, even death. When you collect the right words together, in just the right way, you can shatter someone's whole soul. Imagine the power and what could happen if you wielded that power for good.
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Thanks for reading!
Author's Notes: True Story. (Admittedly, I had to write more to make it pass the minimum word count) It did happen, almost exactly like that. Something I am not proud of, but something that came out when I just started writing yesterday. I've gotten into the habit recently, if not working on a specific piece for a challenge (and sometimes even when working on a specific piece for a challenge) of just writing and seeing where it takes me, what comes of it. Stream of Consciousness-style, like many of my most recent poems. So, it was funny that this incident replayed in my mind again. I guess it's because I've been tackling the uncomfortableness of shame as part of my Addiction Recovery programme.
I still feel shame about this incident. It's less than the shame I felt days, weeks and months after it, but still there a little. Which just made me think and really reminded me of just how powerful words can be. We all know that, I'm sure on some level, as writers and readers, but it matters. As trite and preachy as it sounds, words have power and it's important to remember that. It's also important to remember that it's not just what you say, but the way you say it.
Anyway, Thank you to the people who constantly support me and read my work and interact. I appreciate you all. Even if I'm bad at keeping up with replies and reads at times, I just want you all to remember that.
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About the Creator
Paul Stewart
Scottish-Italian poet/writer from Glasgow.
Overflowing in English language torture and word abuse.
"Every man has a sane spot somewhere" R.L Stevenson
The Accidental Poet - Poetry Collection is now available!
https://paulspoeticprints.etsy.com
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Hey. So, this is my entry for Kayleigh Fraser's unofficial Get To Know Me Challenge for September. I feel like during my time publishing on Vocal I have given of myself quite a lot. Whether I am writing fiction, non-fiction, poetry, satire, horror or in the comments, there is always quite a lot of Paul Stewart in there. So people know about my accidental poet status, my love of music and film maybe, my family, my animals, my depression and anxiety and trying not to shy away from the fact that I am an incredibly flawed individual.
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Comments (11)
Your contemplation on the power of words extends beyond personal anecdotes, reminding us all of the responsibility we bear as writers and communicators. Your emphasis on using this power for good resonates strongly, highlighting the potential for positive change that lies within our words. Thank you very much!
How is the recovery program? How long is it? Is it with a group or individual..? You don’t have to answer that of course, I was just interested in how it works. I like the style here. I think from memory you’ve done this once or twice “prose-style poetry”. I often think back to things in a similar way, both that which were said to me or vice versa. Sometimes I think I spend more time in memories than the real world and this isn’t a good thing (for me).. but I think certain personalities do this more and HAVE the capacity to journey there more easily than others -which is both a blessing and a curse, yet at least it always makes good writing material! 👍 😉
I, in my early twenties, answered back to my boss. This is not in itself a problem but I said something dismissive, arrogant even, and I still, decades later, have a visceral cringe at recalling it.
This is so very true and powerful that you would speak to it in what is your truth. I too have spoken without thought and many times not even realized the impact until time has passed and I am left with regret of my own words. Thanks for this it hits home.
We've all had mean moments. If you feel shame at how you acted, I think you're good. It's when it gives you something else from it and you want to repeat it to gain that sensation, that's when the trouble starts. I agree with the power of words for good. There should be more of that.
Loved this one, Paul! So, so true. I think it's wonderful that you face it and acknowledge it, as uncomfortable as it is. Great job.
I absolutely second what John said, one mean comment doesn’t define our goodness or who we are as people. Forgive yourself ♥️
It’s funny how some kids say mean things and still feel good about themselves and others say them and then bear the weight of them longer the words ever merited. It’s one thing to tell a kid you don’t like that you don’t like them. It’s truth even if it lacks tact. It’s another thing to say it in spite or to relish the saying. But the fact that you regret it says something positive about your character that merits meditation. Sometimes we say dumb things. That does not make us bad people.
Unconscious people can be so very cruel. From another perspective- that kid was just a mirror reflecting your deepest beliefs about yourself… (that you were not likeable, not deserving, not worthy, not good enough). That vibration had to already be alive within you for that situation to happen 🥺 I love how you ended this. At first I thought… yeah…. Because those things are on tv, and not real for the privileged… but then I realised… Words like that and moments like that do wound us so deeply… (because we believe them) and stay with us was longer than physical trauma and memories of hunger / starvation. I have felt all… and although they were hard to release… the one that still lingers most often is the cutting words from others (especially my parents). You would think something like being raped would be harder to release, but it’s not. Words have stuck for 30 years. The other is practically completely gone - in 4. (Although maybe the ton of MDMA I had over a summer can take a lot of that credit) I think the difference is about our belief. I don’t believe I deserved to be raped. Easy to let go of. Words like that? We take them in deeply because we believe them. And it’s very hard to undo beliefs.
What if the kid said to himself: "Huh, lame party anyway!" and shrugged his shoulders and got on with his day? You've carried this for years for nothing. Well written and everything, sure, but you need to let it go.
We all have such a story.