Secrets Suck

We keep so many secrets, it is crazy the amount of trust you put into someone. I secretly hide things and then they explode through my tears.......ok that was a very grand way to say to make that statement. I have full consciousness of that statement making me one in millions. I have built up opinions for those I love most and for those I don't know personally. So much to say so little people who care.

However, I know that if I say the right things to the right people there will be a number of negative consequences. There would be pools of tears high rage and anger, deeply rooted hurt and possibly remorse. These are the kinds of secrets that you hide from your loved ones, your peers, your coworkers, damnear hide them from youself if the anxiety is high and trama is right...

There are things we forget but want to remeber and so many things we remeber and just simply want to forget. I have a lot of the later. If I were to let them, (secerets) go and simply stop thinking about it. Not giving them a place on my path of thought processing by suppressing those thoughts. Who would I be then? A liar? A mental cheat?.......In denial?

You see, having information on a subject or being victum to a vast spectrum of acts can cause a monk like silence or a banshee siren to come over someones' mind and body. The internal battle to resist the urge to be rid of something, some information, some feelings of entrapment to this secret can be the heavily weighted rock that makes sure you never see the light of happier days.

Some believe that being told a secret or having a secret makes them more interesting because of the obvious.....they know something that you don't. Its the idea that knowledge is power. Those people take pride in being a keeper. Others experinece a stress brought on soley by their desire or appeal to someones, fear, or compromise.Ypu may also fall subject to secrecy because you are seen as trustworthy. Secrets are everywhere. Im a secret to someone. I have someones secrets. I tell secerets. Are you a secrets?

More and more latley the amount of accountable trust people posses is deplete at an alarming rate. I've seen some of these secrets turn people into the things they kept from us and now have become engolfed in them as a result. Habitual secret keeping, telling half truths, privacy, lies, omitting information are all of the same light at different times of the day. It takes you over and consume you and change who you are. My secrets have chnged me. Not for the better in my opinion. Some that

'know" me say that I am as i have been if not better. The reality is I remeber a me that I have not seen in a while. Some of me is dead. An amputie in its respect. Some of the people I kept secrets from and for are either have their "passing" or are oblivious. We "pour one out" or both......

I could be free to forgive those people and forgive myself, but I'm not innocent and this guilt doesn't all belong to me. I secretly wish I could get back that innocence. Reclaim my whats mines. My peace of mind.

I am full of whispers and will continue to raise my volume in order to speak up...but who can I trust with these vibes? Who can I shine this light on to help the shadowy parts of me become visible? Are they secetly out to steal my light or keep me blinded by theirs? Will this be a continiuation of the cycle im trying to break or will this birth a new life of truth and upfront honesty, peace and true personal space. All those componets are factors that I must consider when deciding to tell my secrets. Revealing my hidden private patrs that where made public by force is how we undo. Exposing all the underdeveloped reels from my past that has created what you see on and off the screen is how I say cut. I don't feel safe in this life of tall tales and hidden realities. I understand that we must free ourselves even though we may not have been the perosn to put the shackles of secrets on. I believe you should face things head on if your peace is distrubed. But there are more people secretly who are at peace and yet always seem to be or cause a disturbance..... how does that work? The answer today is I do not know, but that’s no secrect.