Period of Humiliation

Let me begin by saying, I used to find the thought of people knowing I was on my period humiliating. As women, we are taught that the menstral cycle is taboo. You aren't to talk about it and especially not in front of a man.

I used to manage the day-to-day running of a global company, we had hundreds of people at our headquarters in Birmingham daily. Some of these people were marketing experts, others were accountants, graphic designers and so on.

Then there was me, I reported directly to the CEO and popped in and out of his meetings.

In 2019 I had endometrial hyperplasia. Which is a fancy way of saying a month long period where I was in enough pain to take down most people. It would take between half an hour and an hour for me to bleed through a tampon and a post-partem pad (like the REALLY thick ones).

The blood would then soak my underwear, my trousers, my jumper and my chair.

There was nothing I could do. I tried everything.

I couldn't afford to take much time off work, so when I went back and was still suffering in this way, I was embarrased. I took two or three changes of clothes with me but I would bleed through them all in a morning.

And then it occured to me. Why am I embarrassed? If I'd cut my arm and it was gushing blood, would I be so worried about what others thought? No, I think I would be more worried about my arm and the massacre seen I was causing.

So, I swallowed my pride. I put a bath towel on my chair. I marched my blood soaked butt into my bosses office, and I told him. I said I have a medical condition, I am suffering horrendously, I have bought a suitcase full of clothes to work with me and you will likely still see my bottom and my back covered in blood.

There is nothing I can do, so you can like it or lump it. You can't afford for me to take time out because no one else can do what I do. I can't afford to take time out because Statutory Sick Pay doesn't cover my bills so if it makes you all uncomfortable then that is a you problem.

I mean, what could he do? There was no way for me to stop it.

I'll tell you what he did do. He went and bought boxes of tampons and packs of sanitary towels for all of the women's bathrooms, for everyone to use. He told me that I could leave whenever I needed too if the pain became too bad, he would pay me for the day anyway and he bought me a hot drink back whenever he went to the kitchen so I didn't have to get up.

I left his office that morning, yes I was soaked with blood, yes I felt horrible, but somehow I still managed to keep my head held high and maintain my dignity.

I have never felt embarrassed about being on my period again. Sometimes you don't realise how strong you can be until life pushes you past what you thought your breaking point was. Periods are natural, we cannot help them and we shouldn't feel like we should be ashamed of them.

We need to stop trying to make the men in our lives comfortable by not giving them this information, sometimes conversations need to be had for change to happen. Even if those conversations feel embarrassing at the time.