Lockers Speak

If walls could talk, some would whisper while others would scream. Students expose themselves like pictures pasted on locker walls while others bury any evidence of their identity under piles of papers, inside notebooks, folded, stapled, and locked behind a metal door.

As the principal walks by locker 623, she notices the door is hanging open. With the palm of her hand, she reaches out to push it shut and continues walking. Metal hits metal causing the door to swing back open without the familiar click that acknowledges it has latched. Upon closer inspection and a slight jiggle, a folded slip of paper falls to the floor, a simple system that allows easy access without a combination. To the untrained eye, it is just a piece of paper; to high school students, it’s a shortcut for easy access; to her eye, an administrator, it’s an invitation to theft, vandalism, and bullying.

School is out for summer so no backpacks, purses, or personal items exist but evidence of experiences remains. A name carved into the metal on the wall is scratched out leaving only the last three letters distinguishable, “man.” A crush turned true love that faded as quickly as the weather changed.

Names run through her mind of possibilities, maybe Luis Guzman. His name was connected to the word player more than once. His sister Ava might be the lost love. Those two both seemed to attract the interest of drooling peers. Surely not Jack Pitman, the ultimate loner. The only emotion he ever showed consisted of contempt towards adults. Mrs. Smith shakes her head assaulted by the students’ names and attitudes.

Not daring a closer inspection, she moves on thinking about the stories these walls would reveal, and the glimpse into teenage minds they could expose if they spoke. Leaning to the left, she avoids an open locker. The recently vacated cubicles trigger memories, anecdotes students scream to share but protect from discovery.

Seldom does one person share a complete story because everyone is influenced by their singular perspective. Collectively the stories reflect society while functioning as human mirrors reflecting a changing world.

Katie DeCroix

Boys can be so mean!

Did you hear

what Donny said about Joey?

Someone told me

he called him a retard.

I told mom

She said I can’t hang with Donny anymore

Like I would want to.

What a creep!

Joey works so hard to fit in

It’s just that people don’t understand him

They don’t even try!

He’s smart you know

He can do math in his head

better than me

Kids think he’s stuck-up because he’s so smart

He’s my brother so

I love him

But he never looks up from the ground

or makes eye contact - ever

When he mumbles, it is hard to hear

and he talks so fast his words run together,

Everyone should try harder

I just wish he didn’t repeat everything

Multiple times

All the time

In the halls, Joey runs into people

He smiles and walks right into them

It is so embarrassing

Sometimes,

I just look the other way because I

Don't know what to say when they laugh

Kids would like him better

if he wasn’t so annoying

Ben Thaire

I walk through the halls

“Hi, Bennie”

“Yo, Ben”

Someone nods recognition

I nod

Girls stare

Some seem to accuse;

Others look like they own me

I avoid eye contact

On the field, I am part of a team

My number is greeted with chants

“Been there! Done That!”

“Ben Thaire! Done That!”

In those moments

I am important

Joey's smile is sincere,

Inviting and friendly

I want to check in with him

He calls me his peer tutor

I call him my friend

Joey DeCroix

i like skool learning is fun

kids smile and laugh

the halls are crowded

when i

solve math problems

kids write down the ansers

donny winked at me

his friends smiled

i like skool i like to share

it makes people smile

ms. Thompson said,

the inverse of

f(x) = 2x+3 is f-1(y) = (y-3)/2

that made me smile

she

is a good teacher

ben is funny

everyone says

ben their don tat

Matt Colt

I am not ALWAYS right

Just usually

So why should I listen to Katie

She is just a girl

A smart girl – Maybe -

But a girl

She wants to go out with me

But can’t accept the fact that

I called it right

Joey is slow in the head

Everyone thinks it

What’s so bad about saying it aloud?

It’s not like it hurts his feelings

Yeah, he has feelings but he’s

A little short in the brain department

Katie, she has brains but

She’s not rational, not logical

She’s emotional

After her refusing to go out - twice,

I’m not asking again

She’ll see what a mistake she’s making

She’ll come pleading to me

I’ll accept her apology

Donny Smith

Kirsten’s mom says she is visiting relatives in Chicago

Something about studying at a special school of art

I miss her attention but with her gone

The “problem” is gone

Life goes on

Katie’s mom says she is too young to date

They let her go to the dance with someone

But only because it was school related

Now,

She doesn’t respond to my texts

Steady girlfriends can be a drag anyway

They weigh a guy down, limit opportunities

I think I’ll just play the field; see what happens

Things always happen,

If you know what I mean

All the guys are hangin’ at a party this weekend

It’s at the church but that doesn’t mean we are Jesus Freaks

There’s a girl, Mary. She’s cute and I kinda like her

I will try to get to know her –

Like in the Biblical way

Jett Madden

Kirsten was my first playmate

My first friend

Girlfriend, Kiss, Wife, Love

I now wish for our imaginary life as kids

When we got older and stopped dressing up

And pretending to be married

She still smiled and said she loved me

But added, “You’re like my older brother.”

From the first day, we ventured into high school,

She was noticed and a topic of conversation

So naïve, so sweet, so ready for adventure

Inexperienced, Fresh, Exploitable

She confided in me her love for Donny Smith

I watched her stare and smile before he knew she existed

She dressed and giggled to get his attention

Over time, attention she got

Donny noticed her;

He leered at her body as a prize to win

I appreciated her;

I worshiped her like a holy temple

Where other boys saw sexy legs, a slender waist, full breasts,

I saw a beautiful, vulnerable young lady needing to be held

I sat with her when she took the first test,

The second, then the third

I watched her eyes light up with excitement

When she spoke of telling Donny the news

I held her after he asked,

“Can the test be wrong?”

“Are you sure it’s mine?”

I held her tight

Now, I scream,

“It should me mine!”

Kirsten Kelly

Mom doesn’t want my reputation soiled

So, I am off to visit relatives

Visit? Is a prison sentence a visit?

This is cruel and unusual punishment, Ugh!

I just LOVE living with Aunt Helen

And her sappy, puritan family

They don’t even have cable TV

A night out is eating a sandwich at Subway

Like it didn’t hurt enough when I lost the baby

Now, I can’t even talk to Donny

He must be heartsick. I miss him to death

Didn’t even get to say goodbye

My family’s coming next week

They will break the boredom but . . .

Their anxiety, my regret, and a lot of blame

Is a combustible equation

Barb Kelly

Saturday, I am going to the mall to buy that floral mini skirt

Maybe some strappy wedges

My new highlights will scream, “I’m here.”

Oh, this is going to be a super summer

Tonight, Sarah and Karli are going to sleep over

Mom agreed to drive us after breakfast

She is kinda sad lately, and I feel kinda bad for her

but the attention is kinda nice for a change

Life is sure different with Kirsten living at Aunt Helen’s

Sometimes it’s hard to be a twin

Especially when she is (no, was) perfect

Well, she isn’t the favorite child anymore

Kirsten wasn’t a virgin before Donny; I wonder if Mom knows

She watches me like a hawk - as if I was the loose one

She will probably never let me date

It wasn’t me who embarrassed the family and was sent away

Hmm, maybe we could have

Pizza after shopping.

Then maybe a movie

Life is good

Mary Scully

I have seminary fourth period

I wonder if Sofia wants to go out for lunch

We’ve been studying the Sins of the Flesh

Let’s drive to lunch

We can ride with one of the Pratt boys

Maybe Donny drove today

Donny? He’s my boyfriend

He always goes to lunch with us

Donny is a really good Christian

He works at McD’s and gets us free food

What do you think?

Taco Time or Mack Attack?

We can be back in time for class. If not

We will tell Brother Tom we ran out of gas

I think Sofia would love to hang with us

Who wouldn’t?

There are some really great guys

I can hook her up with someone cute

We are so blessed to be friends

Oh yeah, our church group is having a party

I wonder if she knows Jesus as her personal Savior?

We are going to have so much fun

Sofia Ochoa

I love hanging with Mary and her friends

But I really don’t like their church

They all talk holier than thou but don’t act christiany

I guess there’s nothing wrong with having a little fun

I don’t know if I have the heart to tell her

Donny is not her boyfriend

According to him

He is “unattached”

He used that exact word

When his hand was on my thigh

I have to take an invite when I can ‘cuz mom’s so strict

She makes such a big deal when teachers take my phone

As if everybody doesn't text

Teachers just pick on me

Well, if nothing better comes up, to church I go

At least mom can’t complain about that

Besides Donny’s supposed to be there

Halleluiah!

Isaiah Skow

Elementary school was the beginning

I remember

The first time the teacher asked,

“Where’s your homework?”

I responded

“I don’t know.”

She looked disappointed

I would have liked it better if she’d

Just been mad

That came later

But how could I answer that question?

“Where is it?”

“Where is something if it doesn’t exist?”

So, I started lying.

“It’s at home.”

“On my bed.”

“Lost it on the bus.”

“I can’t find it.”

The disappointment shifted to anger

Which was easier

But nothing good comes from anger

So, I ignored it

Pretty soon the teacher ignored

My missing work

Then she ignored me

It was easier for us both

Jesse Vaughn

Whoever designed tight pants

That fit like socks wasn’t a teenage boy

No wonder my grades are low

There are days studying is the last thing on my mind

When Jade wore that aqua blouse, I was captivated

And not by old Mrs. Greyford’s math lesson.

Damn! I walked by that girl’s desk to sharpen my pencil 10 times.

Jenna asked me to her house to swim in the pool

And if she looks as good in a swimsuit - Shit!

I won’t be about to get out of the water

And having Sparrow’s locker above mine

Her short skirts from my angle made coming

To school both a blessing and a curse

Curse my uncontrollable body

Man! Girls in tight pants, low shirts, and short skirts.

Make school a place I want to be

I’m just saying, it’s a tough life

But a free and public education is mandatory for all.

A guys gotta do what a guy’s gotta do.

Erica Quintana

No one needs to know – not now

I even try to forget

Since we moved to town,

I’ll have the chance to start over

Mom loves me in her own way

But just saying, “I love you.”

Doesn’t make my heart all gooey

In fact, just the opposite

Her actions make me go cold

I’ve been frozen to the bone

Ever since we moved to this town

Why’d Dad pick such a cold place?

Once Mom gets out of jail

All visits must be supervised

By a court appointed adult

No way Dad will do that

His feelings are perfectly clear

He did and does hate her

Says she put us through hell

Unforgivable

My counselor says to respect myself

So, I made the decision to cut ties

Mom expects me to welcome her

With open arms when she’s released

Our move will ease the separation

Unless I contact Mom,

She won’t know where we are

All I’m required to do is go to school

Dress normal, act nice,

Do my work, and if I do cry

It’s not because I made the wrong decision

It's because sometimes - only sometimes, I miss her

Randy Otto

Girlfriends are an anchor around a man’s neck

I like to play the field

No one girl has ever trapped me

If, big if, I want a girl

All I’ll have do is snap my fingers

Short term relationships suit me

You’ll never see me hang with Jo

He’s a little light in the loafers

We used to hang

He made summer fun: fishing, bikes, playn’ ball

But then he wanted to confide in me

I don’t want to know his shit

Why'd he turn out queer? No,

He has a right to his own – whatever –

But I ain’t gonna hang out with him

I know it’s not contagious

But you know,

Guilt by association

Not gonna let anyone call me Tinkerbell

Ramsey says he remembers when we were close friends

Emphasis on close. Hell, NO!

Gonna see if Mary wants to hang

It never hurts to have a girl around

Jo Fields

I hate being separated from the others

It sucks

Dressing down in the nurses’ bathroom

Is still better than the locker room

Kids are so mean

My gym shoes were stolen

They called me names

When Cole tripped me, everyone smirked

No, I didn’t hear them

They think they’re so cool

The worst was the accusations

I never did what they said

And them calling me Josephine

My counselor says they are covering

their insecurities through humor

Why do THEY need to accept

MY differences?

It’s not their business, and it’s not funny

They can ignore me, pretend I don’t exist

Whatever – just leave me alone

Cole Nicholas

I didn’t trip Jo

He isn’t real sure footed –

Sure about anything

Some might even say he’s conflicted

He just happened to walk where

I had extended my legs

What can I say?

Jo complains all the time

Says, people pick on him

Seems like a choice to me

Get it?

Choice?

If he didn’t stand out so much

Nobody would bother him

He should at least try to blend in

I’ve been told I have issues with change

But why change what works?

Uncle Tom says everything was better

back when white was white

black was black

and grey was a color

not a shade or a mix of two other colors

Jessica Delaney

People say they care

Then cause trouble

If they really care

They will leave me alone

I am just tired

Tired of the questions

"Nothing

Nothing is wrong"

Everyone keeps asking

The answer is always the same

"Nothing"

I told that nosey girl

My cat scratched me

She told the counselor

Who called my parents

They already know

It’s nobody’s business

The counselor wants to talk – again

"Nothing is wrong

Nothing.

Geez"

Gunnar Hall

Yeah,

I won’t graduate

Never wanted to go

to college

Like it really matters

in the course of my life

I don’t care

Holly Cooper

I pretty much just want to end life

But honestly! It’s not like I would ever hurt myself

The school counselor tells me to look at the evidence

She says there are signs of distress

I shrug, “If your mom died, when you were ten,

you would be distressed too”

Yes, I have low grades, but I’m not stupid

I’m just not interested; they call it unmotivated

Ms. Hawks calls it underachieving; wants me in a group

Thinks talking to others will help

I suppose saying that I was raped is attention seeking

Next time I’ll say nothing.

The school resource officer said there is no evidence

It’s a he said – she said situation

Ms. Hawks asked me to number my level of concern

She gave me a 10; I said 2 – Why worry?

So much unnecessary fuss

Kellen Labate

Coach says the definition of character is

When you act the same way when someone is watching or not

I told him that’s me. I don’t try to impress

He said, “That’s not what I mean.”

Huh.

Chance says I missed the point but couldn’t explain it

He’s kind of a pleaser, says he wants to be respected

I say respect isn’t earned like that

A guy must stand up for himself

Now, the real kiss-up is that ginger,

David Clark, a major brown-noser

Really pushes my buttons

So, I push back - a little

He tries to ignore me, takes whatever I dish out

needs to grow some balls

See, I treat him the same whether

someone is watching or not

Bethany Crumbs

My wheelchair creates acceptance

My handicap suggests

I am special

Within a school where

Being the same is the goal

I am small, loved

The school mascot

Kids love to push my chair

and to be seen with me is like

a badge of honor

They are generous

Accepting

Any day I would prefer

to be normal

to be ignored

or left alone

I would rather be bullied

because I am fat, ugly,

awkward,

or smell bad

Just not patronized

I am Bethany

Luis Guzman

Damn that Levi

He be messin’ with his future

So much for a best friend

if he don’t get

his butt back to school

Oh man,

Ava is nothing but trouble

I’m gonna make that girl stop hanging

with those cabronas

Leila’s bad, and Ava knows it

Now, Sue

She is fire I want to touch

Even if I get burned

Maybe Friday night

we could build a bonfire – make it HOT

Sue Udell

Mom works all night and doesn’t come home

I hate the quiet of an empty house

But yet, I slept in . . . again

A reused dress, flip-flops and no makeup

I simply avoid mirrors

Out of sight, out of mind

For all they know, I plan this look

Never let them see me sweat

Cool, Classy, Calm

“It is what it is.”

That’s my motto for survival

When people look at me, they see a survivor

I survive being alone

Survive cooking my own meals

Survive living in a dirty house

Survive neglect

Yes, I survive

Will I ever thrive?

Ava Guzman

Luis thinks I’m stupid

I know how to manage in his world

I know Ma only sees what she’s shown

I know Papa works to pay the bills and plays to his pleasures

I know to not trust Leila

But I also know my way out

Education

I will be a doctor even though

Luis thinks I am stupid

Ma can’t see the future

Dad is stuck in the moment

And Leila wants to tease life

I can have fun now

And find my future

College is my goal

Luis isn’t hurting anything by standing guard

Mickey Slotham

A warrior of notoriety, to be battled,

bowed to, and conquered

Equipped with weapons:

Swords, artillery, rapiers, and bludgeons

I lead because they follow

In this world, I am

more than a student, son, or brother

I create my world by leveling up

Purchasing the weapons of protection

and using isolation to conceal my mortality

Each friend and foe has an identity

but we never meet face to face

At least not in our mortal form

because on the screen, we are immortal

My anonymity provides my armor

So that when defeated or disgraced

I can remain a strong, proud opponent

I reinvent myself and build a new identity

People, who think they know me, call me Mickey

It is in this world of flesh and blood,

lacking anonymity, that I feel pain through

The stab of words, stares and accusing looks

Beyond the screen is my existence

I am Mardig, a world warrior

Candis Clair

My parents are so embarrassing!

I can’t believe I have any friends at all

let alone a boyfriend

I need to hear that again

I – have - a - boyfriend

Before Mom met him,

I didn’t know what to expect

She thinks she’s funny – she’s not

She asked Brian, “So you’re the flavor of the week?”

He smirked, “Yeah, chocolate.”

Well, that cut the tension

They both laughed and seemed to hit it off

Guess that means summer will have

hot days and hot nights

‘Cuz, I HAVE A BOYFRIEND

Shawn’s dad is livid that we are dating

Not that it’s any of his business

I don’t care what his dad says about mixed race

relationships. We are awesome together

He must let it go. We’re just kids

But then, Shawn isn’t so happy either

He actually said I’m not right for Brian

It’s not like we’re getting married,

having babies, starting a family

Their beliefs are so yesterday!

Shawn Bishop

Everyone is prejudiced

It means to pre-judge

I do; who doesn’t

Old people are expected to drive slowly

Teenagers swear

Moms cook and clean

Dads bring home the money

Sure, I know this isn’t always the case

So why buck the system?

Why set yourself up for trouble?

No way am I a racist

Brian Thatcher is one of my best buds

But why does he have to date a white girl?

Candis and I have been friends since preschool

I’ve watched her grow up and know

she has to understand this is not right

Mom and Dad agree

We need to stay with our own kind

The next thing you know they will ask

for our approval

Naw – that ain’t gonna happen

We can all be friends and hangout

but dating is where I draw the line

We need to set some standards

Brian Thatcher

When I came to this community,

I wondered if I would ever fit in

Everyone welcomed me

on the football field

in the classroom

even at church

Sometimes all the guys and I

stayed up all night playing video games

eating pizza and drinking cola

I felt like one of the group

But when I started dating Candis

things changed without any

identifiable differences

I couldn’t put my finger on it until

Mr. Taupe, the math teacher, asked

if I thought it was a good idea to date

“That Candis girl”

I shrugged, “Why not?”

Man, did I figure out why not!

People saw our color differences as a barrier

like oil and vinegar

I had stopped seeing color. Thought they had too

until people stopped making eye contact

It wasn’t what they said but what they didn’t

Shawn clearly stated the problem, his problem

“Why date a girl who’s out of reach?”

It dawned on me I could look but not touch

I could be involved, never embraced

Jack Pitman

I like the challenges of life

Schoolwork not being a challenge

I observe the world around me - my domain

Watch for opportunities

to elevate my status among those

who think they are important:

Athletes, cheerleaders, Christians, Boy Scouts

They all follow the rules

granting others power

I always look adults in the eyes

Not because I fear them but to show that I don’t

My stares create suspicion

Never turn my back to them

They never turn their backs on me

I talk little in a world that worships words

I may look ragged, however be wary

Looks are deceiving

With multiple watches on my right arm, I inspire

Questions. But the answers are lies

The need to ask questions shows weakness

Time is controlled by

People who see relevance in the present

Body language is my mode of communication

My head nod offers acknowledgement

My handshake suggests promises

My words never incriminate

If I stay in your presence, it means interest

but don’t be confused, I don’t care

I withdrawal from a world that covets acceptance

The challenge is

the chance to make a deal to my benefit

Manuel Rodriquez

Yes, Ma’am

Yes, Sir

Look down, show respect

America is my home

Mamma taught me to act like a visitor

if we want to stay in our home

We must be seen and not heard

even though I was born here

Mamma is a good woman

Cooks, cleans, works hard

Papa puts food on the table

working long hours each day

I keep my grades up.

stay out of trouble,

and fill Papa’s shoes

when he’s not around

I translate for Mamma

She speaks no English

Reads only Spanish,

her mother tongue

Papa knows a little English

Allows him to be

a supervisor of a crew

of Mexicans

Mamma and Papa came

to America for a better life

Taught me the value of hard work

We are not afraid of hard work

We understand hard work is

the only thing to be noticed for

Carmen Haines

I do not like science

It is a conundrum

I can’t complete the work

or give the right answers

for they will be marked wrong

They won’t allow me

to share the truth

God created the world

The lesson invalidates my beliefs

I have a D in a class

with a fable for a text

I listen to their evidence

A diagram misrepresents

Illustrates their realities

Disperses disinformation

followed by tests

Should I honor my mother

by earning respectable grades?

Appease a secular world?

Should I taste perjury?

Mrs. Smith - Vice Principal

Like a child’s birthday party, the last day of school

Comes complete with decorations and music

When the sounds of excitement reach an apex

The final bell releases students to float away

As the celebration ends the multi-colored forms

Following the laws of nature

Drift, hover, soar towards the exits

Some when pricked by freedom

Jump, run and spiral towards the doors

Excited to leave behind the expectations

that have tied them down

Others unconsciously wander

leaving behind the structure and security

Deflated knowing daily supports are inaccessible

The taste of half-eaten birthday cake

Hangs in the halls;

The defects of scuffed floors, carved desks and

Stained ceilings remind that without the

Students, this is an abandoned vestibule

Silent except for the whisper of memories

screaming from the walls to be heard