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If walls could talk, some would whisper while others would scream. Students expose themselves like pictures pasted on locker walls while others bury any evidence of their identity under piles of papers, inside notebooks, folded, stapled, and locked behind a metal door.
As the principal walks by locker 623, she notices the door is hanging open. With the palm of her hand, she reaches out to push it shut and continues walking. Metal hits metal causing the door to swing back open without the familiar click that acknowledges it has latched. Upon closer inspection and a slight jiggle, a folded slip of paper falls to the floor, a simple system that allows easy access without a combination. To the untrained eye, it is just a piece of paper; to high school students, it’s a shortcut for easy access; to her eye, an administrator, it’s an invitation to theft, vandalism, and bullying.
School is out for summer so no backpacks, purses, or personal items exist but evidence of experiences remains. A name carved into the metal on the wall is scratched out leaving only the last three letters distinguishable, “man.” A crush turned true love that faded as quickly as the weather changed.
Names run through her mind of possibilities, maybe Luis Guzman. His name was connected to the word player more than once. His sister Ava might be the lost love. Those two both seemed to attract the interest of drooling peers. Surely not Jack Pitman, the ultimate loner. The only emotion he ever showed consisted of contempt towards adults. Mrs. Smith shakes her head assaulted by the students’ names and attitudes.
Not daring a closer inspection, she moves on thinking about the stories these walls would reveal, and the glimpse into teenage minds they could expose if they spoke. Leaning to the left, she avoids an open locker. The recently vacated cubicles trigger memories, anecdotes students scream to share but protect from discovery.
Seldom does one person share a complete story because everyone is influenced by their singular perspective. Collectively the stories reflect society while functioning as human mirrors reflecting a changing world.
Katie DeCroix
Boys can be so mean!
Did you hear
what Donny said about Joey?
Someone told me
he called him a retard.
I told mom
She said I can’t hang with Donny anymore
Like I would want to.
What a creep!
Joey works so hard to fit in
It’s just that people don’t understand him
They don’t even try!
He’s smart you know
He can do math in his head
better than me
Kids think he’s stuck-up because he’s so smart
He’s my brother so
I love him
But he never looks up from the ground
or makes eye contact - ever
When he mumbles, it is hard to hear
and he talks so fast his words run together,
Everyone should try harder
I just wish he didn’t repeat everything
Multiple times
All the time
In the halls, Joey runs into people
He smiles and walks right into them
It is so embarrassing
Sometimes,
I just look the other way because I
Don't know what to say when they laugh
Kids would like him better
if he wasn’t so annoying
Ben Thaire
I walk through the halls
“Hi, Bennie”
“Yo, Ben”
Someone nods recognition
I nod
Girls stare
Some seem to accuse;
Others look like they own me
I avoid eye contact
On the field, I am part of a team
My number is greeted with chants
“Been there! Done That!”
“Ben Thaire! Done That!”
In those moments
I am important
Joey's smile is sincere,
Inviting and friendly
I want to check in with him
He calls me his peer tutor
I call him my friend
Joey DeCroix
i like skool learning is fun
kids smile and laugh
the halls are crowded
when i
solve math problems
kids write down the ansers
donny winked at me
his friends smiled
i like skool i like to share
it makes people smile
ms. Thompson said,
the inverse of
f(x) = 2x+3 is f-1(y) = (y-3)/2
that made me smile
she
is a good teacher
ben is funny
everyone says
ben their don tat
Matt Colt
I am not ALWAYS right
Just usually
So why should I listen to Katie
She is just a girl
A smart girl – Maybe -
But a girl
She wants to go out with me
But can’t accept the fact that
I called it right
Joey is slow in the head
Everyone thinks it
What’s so bad about saying it aloud?
It’s not like it hurts his feelings
Yeah, he has feelings but he’s
A little short in the brain department
Katie, she has brains but
She’s not rational, not logical
She’s emotional
After her refusing to go out - twice,
I’m not asking again
She’ll see what a mistake she’s making
She’ll come pleading to me
I’ll accept her apology
Donny Smith
Kirsten’s mom says she is visiting relatives in Chicago
Something about studying at a special school of art
I miss her attention but with her gone
The “problem” is gone
Life goes on
Katie’s mom says she is too young to date
They let her go to the dance with someone
But only because it was school related
Now,
She doesn’t respond to my texts
Steady girlfriends can be a drag anyway
They weigh a guy down, limit opportunities
I think I’ll just play the field; see what happens
Things always happen,
If you know what I mean
All the guys are hangin’ at a party this weekend
It’s at the church but that doesn’t mean we are Jesus Freaks
There’s a girl, Mary. She’s cute and I kinda like her
I will try to get to know her –
Like in the Biblical way
Jett Madden
Kirsten was my first playmate
My first friend
Girlfriend, Kiss, Wife, Love
I now wish for our imaginary life as kids
When we got older and stopped dressing up
And pretending to be married
She still smiled and said she loved me
But added, “You’re like my older brother.”
From the first day, we ventured into high school,
She was noticed and a topic of conversation
So naïve, so sweet, so ready for adventure
Inexperienced, Fresh, Exploitable
She confided in me her love for Donny Smith
I watched her stare and smile before he knew she existed
She dressed and giggled to get his attention
Over time, attention she got
Donny noticed her;
He leered at her body as a prize to win
I appreciated her;
I worshiped her like a holy temple
Where other boys saw sexy legs, a slender waist, full breasts,
I saw a beautiful, vulnerable young lady needing to be held
I sat with her when she took the first test,
The second, then the third
I watched her eyes light up with excitement
When she spoke of telling Donny the news
I held her after he asked,
“Can the test be wrong?”
“Are you sure it’s mine?”
I held her tight
Now, I scream,
“It should me mine!”
Kirsten Kelly
Mom doesn’t want my reputation soiled
So, I am off to visit relatives
Visit? Is a prison sentence a visit?
This is cruel and unusual punishment, Ugh!
I just LOVE living with Aunt Helen
And her sappy, puritan family
They don’t even have cable TV
A night out is eating a sandwich at Subway
Like it didn’t hurt enough when I lost the baby
Now, I can’t even talk to Donny
He must be heartsick. I miss him to death
Didn’t even get to say goodbye
My family’s coming next week
They will break the boredom but . . .
Their anxiety, my regret, and a lot of blame
Is a combustible equation
Barb Kelly
Saturday, I am going to the mall to buy that floral mini skirt
Maybe some strappy wedges
My new highlights will scream, “I’m here.”
Oh, this is going to be a super summer
Tonight, Sarah and Karli are going to sleep over
Mom agreed to drive us after breakfast
She is kinda sad lately, and I feel kinda bad for her
but the attention is kinda nice for a change
Life is sure different with Kirsten living at Aunt Helen’s
Sometimes it’s hard to be a twin
Especially when she is (no, was) perfect
Well, she isn’t the favorite child anymore
Kirsten wasn’t a virgin before Donny; I wonder if Mom knows
She watches me like a hawk - as if I was the loose one
She will probably never let me date
It wasn’t me who embarrassed the family and was sent away
Hmm, maybe we could have
Pizza after shopping.
Then maybe a movie
Life is good
Mary Scully
I have seminary fourth period
I wonder if Sofia wants to go out for lunch
We’ve been studying the Sins of the Flesh
Let’s drive to lunch
We can ride with one of the Pratt boys
Maybe Donny drove today
Donny? He’s my boyfriend
He always goes to lunch with us
Donny is a really good Christian
He works at McD’s and gets us free food
What do you think?
Taco Time or Mack Attack?
We can be back in time for class. If not
We will tell Brother Tom we ran out of gas
I think Sofia would love to hang with us
Who wouldn’t?
There are some really great guys
I can hook her up with someone cute
We are so blessed to be friends
Oh yeah, our church group is having a party
I wonder if she knows Jesus as her personal Savior?
We are going to have so much fun
Sofia Ochoa
I love hanging with Mary and her friends
But I really don’t like their church
They all talk holier than thou but don’t act christiany
I guess there’s nothing wrong with having a little fun
I don’t know if I have the heart to tell her
Donny is not her boyfriend
According to him
He is “unattached”
He used that exact word
When his hand was on my thigh
I have to take an invite when I can ‘cuz mom’s so strict
She makes such a big deal when teachers take my phone
As if everybody doesn't text
Teachers just pick on me
Well, if nothing better comes up, to church I go
At least mom can’t complain about that
Besides Donny’s supposed to be there
Halleluiah!
Isaiah Skow
Elementary school was the beginning
I remember
The first time the teacher asked,
“Where’s your homework?”
I responded
“I don’t know.”
She looked disappointed
I would have liked it better if she’d
Just been mad
That came later
But how could I answer that question?
“Where is it?”
“Where is something if it doesn’t exist?”
So, I started lying.
“It’s at home.”
“On my bed.”
“Lost it on the bus.”
“I can’t find it.”
The disappointment shifted to anger
Which was easier
But nothing good comes from anger
So, I ignored it
Pretty soon the teacher ignored
My missing work
Then she ignored me
It was easier for us both
Jesse Vaughn
Whoever designed tight pants
That fit like socks wasn’t a teenage boy
No wonder my grades are low
There are days studying is the last thing on my mind
When Jade wore that aqua blouse, I was captivated
And not by old Mrs. Greyford’s math lesson.
Damn! I walked by that girl’s desk to sharpen my pencil 10 times.
Jenna asked me to her house to swim in the pool
And if she looks as good in a swimsuit - Shit!
I won’t be about to get out of the water
And having Sparrow’s locker above mine
Her short skirts from my angle made coming
To school both a blessing and a curse
Curse my uncontrollable body
Man! Girls in tight pants, low shirts, and short skirts.
Make school a place I want to be
I’m just saying, it’s a tough life
But a free and public education is mandatory for all.
A guys gotta do what a guy’s gotta do.
Erica Quintana
No one needs to know – not now
I even try to forget
Since we moved to town,
I’ll have the chance to start over
Mom loves me in her own way
But just saying, “I love you.”
Doesn’t make my heart all gooey
In fact, just the opposite
Her actions make me go cold
I’ve been frozen to the bone
Ever since we moved to this town
Why’d Dad pick such a cold place?
Once Mom gets out of jail
All visits must be supervised
By a court appointed adult
No way Dad will do that
His feelings are perfectly clear
He did and does hate her
Says she put us through hell
Unforgivable
My counselor says to respect myself
So, I made the decision to cut ties
Mom expects me to welcome her
With open arms when she’s released
Our move will ease the separation
Unless I contact Mom,
She won’t know where we are
All I’m required to do is go to school
Dress normal, act nice,
Do my work, and if I do cry
It’s not because I made the wrong decision
It's because sometimes - only sometimes, I miss her
Randy Otto
Girlfriends are an anchor around a man’s neck
I like to play the field
No one girl has ever trapped me
If, big if, I want a girl
All I’ll have do is snap my fingers
Short term relationships suit me
You’ll never see me hang with Jo
He’s a little light in the loafers
We used to hang
He made summer fun: fishing, bikes, playn’ ball
But then he wanted to confide in me
I don’t want to know his shit
Why'd he turn out queer? No,
He has a right to his own – whatever –
But I ain’t gonna hang out with him
I know it’s not contagious
But you know,
Guilt by association
Not gonna let anyone call me Tinkerbell
Ramsey says he remembers when we were close friends
Emphasis on close. Hell, NO!
Gonna see if Mary wants to hang
It never hurts to have a girl around
Jo Fields
I hate being separated from the others
It sucks
Dressing down in the nurses’ bathroom
Is still better than the locker room
Kids are so mean
My gym shoes were stolen
They called me names
When Cole tripped me, everyone smirked
No, I didn’t hear them
They think they’re so cool
The worst was the accusations
I never did what they said
And them calling me Josephine
My counselor says they are covering
their insecurities through humor
Why do THEY need to accept
MY differences?
It’s not their business, and it’s not funny
They can ignore me, pretend I don’t exist
Whatever – just leave me alone
Cole Nicholas
I didn’t trip Jo
He isn’t real sure footed –
Sure about anything
Some might even say he’s conflicted
He just happened to walk where
I had extended my legs
What can I say?
Jo complains all the time
Says, people pick on him
Seems like a choice to me
Get it?
Choice?
If he didn’t stand out so much
Nobody would bother him
He should at least try to blend in
I’ve been told I have issues with change
But why change what works?
Uncle Tom says everything was better
back when white was white
black was black
and grey was a color
not a shade or a mix of two other colors
Jessica Delaney
People say they care
Then cause trouble
If they really care
They will leave me alone
I am just tired
Tired of the questions
"Nothing
Nothing is wrong"
Everyone keeps asking
The answer is always the same
"Nothing"
I told that nosey girl
My cat scratched me
She told the counselor
Who called my parents
They already know
It’s nobody’s business
The counselor wants to talk – again
"Nothing is wrong
Nothing.
Geez"
Gunnar Hall
Yeah,
I won’t graduate
Never wanted to go
to college
Like it really matters
in the course of my life
I don’t care
Holly Cooper
I pretty much just want to end life
But honestly! It’s not like I would ever hurt myself
The school counselor tells me to look at the evidence
She says there are signs of distress
I shrug, “If your mom died, when you were ten,
you would be distressed too”
Yes, I have low grades, but I’m not stupid
I’m just not interested; they call it unmotivated
Ms. Hawks calls it underachieving; wants me in a group
Thinks talking to others will help
I suppose saying that I was raped is attention seeking
Next time I’ll say nothing.
The school resource officer said there is no evidence
It’s a he said – she said situation
Ms. Hawks asked me to number my level of concern
She gave me a 10; I said 2 – Why worry?
So much unnecessary fuss
Kellen Labate
Coach says the definition of character is
When you act the same way when someone is watching or not
I told him that’s me. I don’t try to impress
He said, “That’s not what I mean.”
Huh.
Chance says I missed the point but couldn’t explain it
He’s kind of a pleaser, says he wants to be respected
I say respect isn’t earned like that
A guy must stand up for himself
Now, the real kiss-up is that ginger,
David Clark, a major brown-noser
Really pushes my buttons
So, I push back - a little
He tries to ignore me, takes whatever I dish out
needs to grow some balls
See, I treat him the same whether
someone is watching or not
Bethany Crumbs
My wheelchair creates acceptance
My handicap suggests
I am special
Within a school where
Being the same is the goal
I am small, loved
The school mascot
Kids love to push my chair
and to be seen with me is like
a badge of honor
They are generous
Accepting
Any day I would prefer
to be normal
to be ignored
or left alone
I would rather be bullied
because I am fat, ugly,
awkward,
or smell bad
Just not patronized
I am Bethany
Luis Guzman
Damn that Levi
He be messin’ with his future
So much for a best friend
if he don’t get
his butt back to school
Oh man,
Ava is nothing but trouble
I’m gonna make that girl stop hanging
with those cabronas
Leila’s bad, and Ava knows it
Now, Sue
She is fire I want to touch
Even if I get burned
Maybe Friday night
we could build a bonfire – make it HOT
Sue Udell
Mom works all night and doesn’t come home
I hate the quiet of an empty house
But yet, I slept in . . . again
A reused dress, flip-flops and no makeup
I simply avoid mirrors
Out of sight, out of mind
For all they know, I plan this look
Never let them see me sweat
Cool, Classy, Calm
“It is what it is.”
That’s my motto for survival
When people look at me, they see a survivor
I survive being alone
Survive cooking my own meals
Survive living in a dirty house
Survive neglect
Yes, I survive
Will I ever thrive?
Ava Guzman
Luis thinks I’m stupid
I know how to manage in his world
I know Ma only sees what she’s shown
I know Papa works to pay the bills and plays to his pleasures
I know to not trust Leila
But I also know my way out
Education
I will be a doctor even though
Luis thinks I am stupid
Ma can’t see the future
Dad is stuck in the moment
And Leila wants to tease life
I can have fun now
And find my future
College is my goal
Luis isn’t hurting anything by standing guard
Mickey Slotham
A warrior of notoriety, to be battled,
bowed to, and conquered
Equipped with weapons:
Swords, artillery, rapiers, and bludgeons
I lead because they follow
In this world, I am
more than a student, son, or brother
I create my world by leveling up
Purchasing the weapons of protection
and using isolation to conceal my mortality
Each friend and foe has an identity
but we never meet face to face
At least not in our mortal form
because on the screen, we are immortal
My anonymity provides my armor
So that when defeated or disgraced
I can remain a strong, proud opponent
I reinvent myself and build a new identity
People, who think they know me, call me Mickey
It is in this world of flesh and blood,
lacking anonymity, that I feel pain through
The stab of words, stares and accusing looks
Beyond the screen is my existence
I am Mardig, a world warrior
Candis Clair
My parents are so embarrassing!
I can’t believe I have any friends at all
let alone a boyfriend
I need to hear that again
I – have - a - boyfriend
Before Mom met him,
I didn’t know what to expect
She thinks she’s funny – she’s not
She asked Brian, “So you’re the flavor of the week?”
He smirked, “Yeah, chocolate.”
Well, that cut the tension
They both laughed and seemed to hit it off
Guess that means summer will have
hot days and hot nights
‘Cuz, I HAVE A BOYFRIEND
Shawn’s dad is livid that we are dating
Not that it’s any of his business
I don’t care what his dad says about mixed race
relationships. We are awesome together
He must let it go. We’re just kids
But then, Shawn isn’t so happy either
He actually said I’m not right for Brian
It’s not like we’re getting married,
having babies, starting a family
Their beliefs are so yesterday!
Shawn Bishop
Everyone is prejudiced
It means to pre-judge
I do; who doesn’t
Old people are expected to drive slowly
Teenagers swear
Moms cook and clean
Dads bring home the money
Sure, I know this isn’t always the case
So why buck the system?
Why set yourself up for trouble?
No way am I a racist
Brian Thatcher is one of my best buds
But why does he have to date a white girl?
Candis and I have been friends since preschool
I’ve watched her grow up and know
she has to understand this is not right
Mom and Dad agree
We need to stay with our own kind
The next thing you know they will ask
for our approval
Naw – that ain’t gonna happen
We can all be friends and hangout
but dating is where I draw the line
We need to set some standards
Brian Thatcher
When I came to this community,
I wondered if I would ever fit in
Everyone welcomed me
on the football field
in the classroom
even at church
Sometimes all the guys and I
stayed up all night playing video games
eating pizza and drinking cola
I felt like one of the group
But when I started dating Candis
things changed without any
identifiable differences
I couldn’t put my finger on it until
Mr. Taupe, the math teacher, asked
if I thought it was a good idea to date
“That Candis girl”
I shrugged, “Why not?”
Man, did I figure out why not!
People saw our color differences as a barrier
like oil and vinegar
I had stopped seeing color. Thought they had too
until people stopped making eye contact
It wasn’t what they said but what they didn’t
Shawn clearly stated the problem, his problem
“Why date a girl who’s out of reach?”
It dawned on me I could look but not touch
I could be involved, never embraced
Jack Pitman
I like the challenges of life
Schoolwork not being a challenge
I observe the world around me - my domain
Watch for opportunities
to elevate my status among those
who think they are important:
Athletes, cheerleaders, Christians, Boy Scouts
They all follow the rules
granting others power
I always look adults in the eyes
Not because I fear them but to show that I don’t
My stares create suspicion
Never turn my back to them
They never turn their backs on me
I talk little in a world that worships words
I may look ragged, however be wary
Looks are deceiving
With multiple watches on my right arm, I inspire
Questions. But the answers are lies
The need to ask questions shows weakness
Time is controlled by
People who see relevance in the present
Body language is my mode of communication
My head nod offers acknowledgement
My handshake suggests promises
My words never incriminate
If I stay in your presence, it means interest
but don’t be confused, I don’t care
I withdrawal from a world that covets acceptance
The challenge is
the chance to make a deal to my benefit
Manuel Rodriquez
Yes, Ma’am
Yes, Sir
Look down, show respect
America is my home
Mamma taught me to act like a visitor
if we want to stay in our home
We must be seen and not heard
even though I was born here
Mamma is a good woman
Cooks, cleans, works hard
Papa puts food on the table
working long hours each day
I keep my grades up.
stay out of trouble,
and fill Papa’s shoes
when he’s not around
I translate for Mamma
She speaks no English
Reads only Spanish,
her mother tongue
Papa knows a little English
Allows him to be
a supervisor of a crew
of Mexicans
Mamma and Papa came
to America for a better life
Taught me the value of hard work
We are not afraid of hard work
We understand hard work is
the only thing to be noticed for
Carmen Haines
I do not like science
It is a conundrum
I can’t complete the work
or give the right answers
for they will be marked wrong
They won’t allow me
to share the truth
God created the world
The lesson invalidates my beliefs
I have a D in a class
with a fable for a text
I listen to their evidence
A diagram misrepresents
Illustrates their realities
Disperses disinformation
followed by tests
Should I honor my mother
by earning respectable grades?
Appease a secular world?
Should I taste perjury?
Mrs. Smith - Vice Principal
Like a child’s birthday party, the last day of school
Comes complete with decorations and music
When the sounds of excitement reach an apex
The final bell releases students to float away
As the celebration ends the multi-colored forms
Following the laws of nature
Drift, hover, soar towards the exits
Some when pricked by freedom
Jump, run and spiral towards the doors
Excited to leave behind the expectations
that have tied them down
Others unconsciously wander
leaving behind the structure and security
Deflated knowing daily supports are inaccessible
The taste of half-eaten birthday cake
Hangs in the halls;
The defects of scuffed floors, carved desks and
Stained ceilings remind that without the
Students, this is an abandoned vestibule
Silent except for the whisper of memories
screaming from the walls to be heard
About the Creator
Brenda Mahler
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Comments (1)
Luv how you wrote this, interesting and thoughtful.