Smartystan

On the Internet, clips from the Average Capabilities Association (ACA) accumulated millions of views. The patrons that had been present at the gathering all rejoiced. All but Vergara. He felt like he had delivered a fine statement and that it was almost too good. It was like he could rip out his vocal chords and throw them on the deck. When he found time he asked for the official footage to be taken down, despite the multitude of viewers who had already witnessed it. They just couldn’t rip from the file anymore.

Vergara sat at his kitchen table. Everything looked second hand. Everything looked like it had existed decades earlier. There existed no gleam in the oven, no luster on the stove. He and his wife washed dishes by hand. He looked at the only newspaper in the country that actually printed news on paper.

In order for him to keep up the veneer of an organization such as the ACA, he only rode around in transportation that actually signaled the state of the art.

A balancing act of sorts, he wanted to keep the sense that ability and merit could only be achieved by the average, by the “just okay.”

His wife Anjelica looked down as she stirred a bowl of eggs to soon scramble them.

“You know that there’s going to be a backlash with you taking down the video,” she said, almost singing it.

“I know.”

“So, why’d you do it, honey?”

“I had to do it.”

Anjelica, not satisfied with his response then sat down the bowl and also found a seat next to her husband.

“I don’t like it. It’s already out there. This move may be the undoing of the entire organiz––”

“Anjelica! I know what I’m doing.”

Her face turned to stone and she picked up the bowl of eggs and whisked them with sour cream. She then poured the mixture into a frying pan and whipped up breakfast for the both of them. She sat in silence the rest of the meal, got up, and cleaned the house.

As Vergara looked at his brand new mobile device, he noticed that more and more views mounted. “I swear––” He didn’t want to admit he was wrong so the droning sound of a vacuum cleaner just drowned out any chances of him apologizing to his wife. He wouldn’t dare say sorry after she finished her chores, either.

Instead, he shot to his feet and called for a meeting with the board members. It seemed rather sad. None of them had a disability or an inability to do anything, but like their leader, they had to hide their strengths and abilities.

The vice president, Arnaud Veek, had been a championship swimmer before the time of the transition to the new country-state. Secretaries of the treasury and the payroll committees, Dublin McQuary and Sheila Bontemps, both knew mathematical computations by memory and could spout poems they had recited in college. Every bit of this had to be shredded, blocked. Any remnants of ability had to be quashed. They dressed slovenly but always affixed ties and made sure they could tilted their hats just so. They entered a conference call on the phone.

“Veeky baby,” Vergara voiced. “Dubs, Sheila. I think this is the main brain trust. Just don’t let anyone say I mentioned that!” They all smirked.

“I called this conference to discuss the amount of knowledge that is to be passed down through the various channels. What I mean is, we’ve gotta put a lid on the fact that we’re going to look like we’re dominant.”

“But we are dominating in many polls and figures….” McQuarry countered.

“That’s just it. If we look like we’re winning, we’re going to lose the vote. If we look like the underdog and are not able to finish the fight, we’ll be celebrated as heroes. Then, we’ll have to show how humble, modest, and meek we all are.”

“I see, Hector,” Sheila started, “ A sort of mixed message. Something that can stimulate the mind but then sully it somehow….”

“That’s proper thinking,” Veek remarked.

“Yes, absolutely,” McQuarry acknowledged.

Vergara cleared his throat. “If we are to have this group, we have to remember to always be doing second best, third best. Even if we have the capacity to become greater or the greatest, we must stifle those urges and push them down in our souls,” he related.

They almost didn’t know how to respond. They wanted to say “yassa boss” and keep pushing but they all remained silent. This tricky space in which they found themselves confounded their own sensibility about themselves. Their individuality appeared as apparitions floating through the night. In all of their many occasions to say that they were actually persons unto their own power of intellect and physicality, they chose to just mutter soundlessly in opposition.

“What we need is more than just to take down videos on the Internet. We have to have a complete force ready for making the average, the somewhat not such a stigma. All of us have abilities. But we have to remember our fellow man. What if he can’t achieve what we can do? What if he is unable to perform the feats of such an honorable cause?” Sheila asked.

Now, they really wanted to applaud and shout hallelujah given their own positions as people who have been able to push their efforts away from the table and settle for second best. They, however, kept mum. Everyone but Vergara stay silent.

“That’s the right idea, Sheila. We have to remain attuned to the idea that aptitude, whether physical or moral, is not the only way to measure a man or woman. We have to remember that this whole unit we have formed is in contrast with the motivations of the likes of President Goshen and the four founders. We don’t hate them. We don’t even dislike or disrespect them. What we’re trying to make them see is the magnificence of mediocrity.”

Again, they just muttered under their breath, never showing that they had any thought save clipping digital coupons and running errands. Their eyes glazed over like a fog across the sea. All of them in their forties seemed much older. They could pass for seventy, even eighty years old in their lethargy.

“So, c’mon. We can lick them if we try. That’s all that matters. Not doing but trying. If you ‘do,’ you’ve gone too far. That’s why trying and failing is so important. To want to fail. To yearn for the chance to not be distinguished. That is the spirit of the ACA.”

More murmurs.