Linus

LINUS

June 4, 2023

Today I woke up from a sleep and the sun was on my face and I remembered I had a new dream. It was the same but different from other dreams because I was running really fast like I always do but it was different because I felt really light and also because I talked to a rabbit creature and rabbit creature gave me a message and this is new. I cannot tell you what it is just yet because it was a secret, and even though it was a dream secret I know I need to keep it a secret in awake time too. Also I called out a name- a name is what you call something- like my name is Linus like I told you, and also Bubba and Bubs in case you forgot. But I called out Charlie and that is weird because I don’t know a Charlie but sometimes Mom says, “Linus, like from Charlie Brown” so it must be that. Also she says, “He carries around a blue blanket like Linus from Charlie Brown, and I didn’t even train him to do that, it is so perfect!” I want to tell her that I carry a blue blanket because she only gets me blue ones but she seems so pleased by it so I wouldn’t correct her even if I could. That is how much I love Mom.

Speaking of Mom, today after I woke up and remembered my dream and then she came to find me. I pretended like I was still asleep so she could wake me up because she likes that. She said, “Good Morning My Sweet Boy.” That is another name she calls me. And she said, “We are going to do something special today!” So first, I thought, Puppaccino. Or Snacks. Or Fribee but then remembered I can’t do Fribee anymore. So must be Puppaccino or bark at the deer. Maybe bark at the deer. I am a good barker. I don’t know if you know this. I bark so loud all the time so that everyone can hear and sometimes I go “AAAHHHHHHHH WWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOO” but mostly I do that when my Mom and Big Guy go away somewhere and I don’t know if they are coming back ever. Or sometimes they put me alone by myself in the big room with the bed that I am not supposed to get on and then they close the door and then I also say “AAAAAHHHHHHHHH WWWWOOOOOOOOO” so they know that they forgot to take me with them.

It is weird, when they do this. Because sometimes they say, when I sneak in, “No Linus, you can’t be in here” and then sometimes they say, “OK Linus, go in here.” I cannot keep up. They need to make up their minds. Can I go in or can I not go in? So when they close the door I just think they made a mistake so I AAAAHHH WOOOOO as loud as I can so they can come get me. Sometimes they do not for a very long time, maybe seven days, and finally I just stop and go to sleep. Sometimes they play music for me too when they put me back there alone. I like the music. It is something called The Grateful Dead. I know this because Big Guy says, “Siri, play Grateful Dead.” I like this kind of music, because it feels soothing and it helps me fall asleep when I am too worried.

So anyway I bet you want to know what the something special was. So first Mom said “we are going to do something special today,” and then Mom said, “We are going to get our pictures taken!” And I didn’t know what this means but I know it’s not Puppaccino or Walk or Bark or Deer or Drive so I was skeptical.

And guess what. I had every right to be skeptical. “Getting pictures taken” was not my favorite thing. We drove to a new place, and that part was OK because I like drives and I like new places. And then I got to meet a new human and that was OK too because I like meeting new humans. But that is when the fun stopped. Mom made me jump up on this box thing but it was too high and it was too hard so then she got me a stool which made me feel nervous because it wobbled a tiny little bit. And then when I got to the top I didn’t like it so then I jumped down and it was a long way down. And then Mom made me do it all over again. And then I had to do this too on a couch thing but that was easier to get on, but then I just had to do nothing. Just sit still.

I do not like to sit still all the time. Mom held my leash and said, “Hold on Buddy” maybe a million times. I could not jump down or move around and I just had to stay there and THEN, to make matters worse, this other lady- the new human I told you about- she kept squeaking this toy at me and I didn’t like it because I am a grownup dog, not a baby dog, and it was loud and distracting and I didn’t know if I was supposed to look at the lady or Mom or the squeaky toy. And if that wasn’t bad enough, then that other lady was snapping this box thing and it would say “POP!” and there would be a big flash of light and then a “CLICK,” and then mom would say, “Good Boy!” and I didn’t know why and I was panting and then I got really frustrated and I growled and I showed Mom my teeth again.

I don’t like when I do this. I know it isn’t nice and that it is scary for her. I wish she knew it was scary for me too and I don’t do it on purpose. I love her so much but and sometimes I just get overwhelmed and I don’t have words like the humans, and so this is how I say “STOP.” One time Mom even had me meet with something called a “Pet Psychic” because of showing her my teeth too much and it was weird because I could hear the lady talking to me but she wasn’t in the room with us. I could hear her in my ears and in my insides but she was not with us. It was a magic trick I am sure. Maybe I will tell you more about that later. But sometimes I just want to be left alone, or sometimes something hurts and I don’t want mom to know- I just don’t want her to make it worse. Or sometimes I am sleeping or sometimes I don’t want anyone to take my food from me because I am very hungry. And sometimes I just don’t want to share. But if I could use human words I would but I can’t so I show my teeth and sometimes I use them. I feel very embarrassed when I do that, and I hope Mom will forgive me and she always does. Probably because I am her “Best Boy” and “She loves me so much.” Maybe one day I will learn how to not do this with my teeth.

But on this day, because all the CLICKS and POPS and LINUS DON’T MOVE and LINUS LINUS LINUS LOOK OVER HERE and the jumping and the sitting and the staying and everything I showed my teeth, but I didn’t use them. And when I showed my teeth, I got to take a little break and that was good. I got to lay on the cool ground, and then I got to stroll around and sniff things and then guess what! I GOT TREATS. So I guess it wasn’t so bad after all. I still don’t know what “Taking Pictures” really means, but I actually now I remember I did this when I was a very tiny baby dog too. I did it with Mom then too. That must have been a hundred years ago, when mom was really young and had long hair and no wrinkles on her face but her eyes were the same. Her eyes were full of love then, like they are now.

I guess taking pictures isn’t so bad, whatever it means, because when we were doing it and when it was done, Mom looked at me with her Love Eyes, so it was all OK. We even stopped for a Puppaccino on the way home, so with all the treats and then the Puppaccino and Mom saying I was a Good Boy and that she loved me so much, I think I would “take pictures” again. I think they made her happy, and I just want her to be happy. I snuggled my face next to hers on the drive home so that she knows.

___________________________________________________

This is a chapter from my book in progress- I post the unedited chapters as I write them. If you enjoy it, please follow me for the rest of them!