FATED: Part 2

We spent the whole day at the bedroom window, just waiting for the sun to set. I think we both knew that it was the last time we would ever see our beloved home. I hate to think what must've been going through Dex's mind: did he truly understand that we were leaving forever? Or did he still hold out some hope that one day we could return? Would he ever see his father again? Was he afraid that he could one day forget his father, or stop loving his him? One day, when he's old enough, I'll be sure to ask him. And to tell him the stories of our home so that he doesn't forget them.

When darkness finally overtook the sky we made our first moves. Dex collected his little pack from his room - the one where days earlier I stuffed full with clothes and a few of his favorite toys. I retrieved my own bag, and a third one I hid in the kitchen filled with as much food as we could carry. We walked silently toward the front door, Dex, who had been strong and silent all day, finally wiping away the tears he’d long fought off. We paused before the sofa in the living room and I knelt down beside him, hugging him firmly against my breast.

"It's going to be alright," I whispered into his ear. "Everything's going to be alright." He choked on a loud sob and I wiped the tears from his cheeks, before I stood up straight and took his hand. We were three feet from the door when suddenly it clicked and swung open. I stopped dead in my tracks and let out a surprised gasp. There stood Duce, staring at us in silent disbelief, a bouquet of flowers dangling from one hand. We stared at each other, the tension growing so thick I felt as if I couldn't breathe. Finally Duce broke the silence by taking a single slow step inside. He shut the door firmly behind him.

"What are you doing?" he muttered so softly it was almost inaudible. I stammered,

"Duce, I… I just – we – we though… you weren't suppose to be home yet."

"Daria," he said louder, "what is the meaning of this?"

"My dearest, I," I muttered with trembling lips. "I'm sorry…"

"Sorry?" he nearly shouted, "Sorry for what? What is going on, and where do you two think you're going?!"

"Daddy..?" Dex whimpered. I felt his little fingers, clutching to my dress so tightly, trembling as he gazed up at his father. For the first time Duce seemed to notice our son and looked quickly to him, his face half-hidden by shadow.

"Dex, get over here now," he demanded. Dex took a single hesitant step forward, before stopping and falling back bashfully against my legs.

"I said get over here!" Duce barked dropping the flowers and yanking him away. Dex let out a shrill, startled cry as Duce ripped the knapsack from Dex's shoulders and rummage through inside. He pulled out handfuls of rumpled clothes before suddenly letting them drop to the floor, his face completely lost. He looked up at me slowly and I bit my trembling lower lip as tears blurred my vision. He looked so hurt in a way I had never seen before; so confused by this betrayal. No – he wasn't confused at all. He realized all too quickly exactly what was happening.

"Daria, I," he breathed. “I don't understand… why? Why are you leaving? Why are you taking my son away?" My mind went numb and I could only give him silence.

"Answer me!" he commanded. I buried my eyes in my hands, the tears finally falling on their own. I let out a loud shudder and took a deep breath, bracing myself for the revelation. And it's fallout.

"I'm pregnant, Duce!" I cried. Duce's face fell and he gapped at me as if I were a complete stranger.

"I'm pregnant,” I restated, not looking at him. "I have been for almost ten weeks." Duce said nothing and I first I assumed he left the room. But suddenly a round of footfalls thundered through the house and when I turned back he was standing only inches from me, his livid eyes burning angrily into mine.

"Duce I –!" I cried out but was silenced when he pressed his hand against my stomach. He moved his splayed fingers slowly this way and that, and within minutes found the life that he was looking for. I saw a flurry of questions erupt in his mind, the same range of emotions I rocketed through when I first realized the truth. His eyes locked on mine again and he slowly gripped me by the shoulders.

"Daria… how? How is this possible?"

"I don't know, Duce. I don't know…"

"Do you know what this means?!" he snapped hysterically. "Do you know what this means!"

"Duce, please! You're hurting me!"

"How could you do this!" he barked, "How could you do this to me! To us! To ALL of US!"

"No one needs to know, Duce, this is none of their business!"

"It is Daria! Don't you understand that! It means that the Collective is flawed! You've TAINTED IT!"

"W-what are you going to do?" I pleaded. I realized what he was thinking but prayed for hope anyway. Instead my husband proved me right. He gripped me by the wrist and turned away, tugging me toward the door.

"I have no choice!" he replied. "I have to report this, come on!"

"Duce no! Wait! Please!" I begged, digging my heels in the floor.

"I said COME ON!" he boomed turning back to me and practically dragging me to the door. I screamed for him to stop, screamed that he was hurting me, that they would kill our son. He screamed back that it was all my fault, that it was all his fault. That maybe we deserved to die. That we deserved to die! For what? For simply having a child? For simply wanting another choice! I couldn't take it anymore.

The anger and fear that had been building inside of me for so long, it finally burst.

The sharp ringing of my slap echoed through the living room, and silenced my husband as easily as if I'd thrown cold water on him. Duce just stared at me, completely surprised that I would strike anyone let alone him.

"I won't go!" I spat furiously, my face contorted in a madding mask of fury. "I won't go and I won't let you kill my son!" His surprise gave away to rage and he shook me furiously by the shoulders.

"Your son? He's my son, too! You're the one that's killing him!"

"Duce stop it! Please stop!"

"What have you done! Daria what have you done!"

"STOP IT! Stop it, Daddy, please!" Dex screamed out, pulling at his father's clothes. For a moment, we both had forgotten he was there.

"You're HURTING Mommy!" he cried, tears streaming down his face.

"You'll HURT the baby!"

Those words struck a chord with Duce and I watched as the rage and heartbreak drained away from his face. His grip loosened and his hands dropped to my waist. He sank to his knees and simply observed my stomach. Though I've never loved that man, I always knew what he was thinking. He realized that this thing - this life slowly growing inside of me - it was his as much as it was mine. It was no different from when Dex came into our lives. He was our son, our child. This baby was just as much our child. It was Duce's child.

It was meant to live.

He leaned his forehead against my stomach and held us both tenderly. I felt the hot tears dripping from his eyes and rested my hands against his head, gently caressing his hair.

"What are we going to do?" he sobbed so pitifully it brought fresh tears to my eyes… "What are we going to do?"

Dex began to sob again and cautiously approached his father, wrapping his arms around his neck in a hesitant embrace. With one arm Duce returned the gesture and held our son close. We remained that way for quite some time, holding on to each other as if we never would again.

***

I imagine that our outburst attracted more than a little attention from our neighbors. Duce thought so, too, which is why by the time the Night Patrol arrived to our house, we'd already disappeared. We made our way on foot to the docks, searching for a ship that would take us as far from here as we could. Once he heard our plan to escape into the surrounding wilderness Duce thought very carefully over and decided it was a terrible plan. Looking back on it, I should've realized that for myself. There truly were no communities left that would shelter Dex and I for my condition, and none of us had ever lived outside of Haven before, not even for a day. We had no chance of surviving there, any more than we had of staying in Haven. That left only one option: we had to go off planet.

The nature of Duce's job is difficult to describe. In a world where everything exists by a carefully crafted design, there is very little crime to tend to. But it is true that his job was established to help protect the rest of the population as they went about their daily lives. I don't think there is any translation for it here. Nonetheless, my husband's occupation did provide us with the one crucial element that ensured our escape: security codes. When we arrived at the docks, Duce used his clearance to get permission to access the ships. The security guard on hand was puzzled by this development but let us in anyway due largely to Duce's rank. Duce had warned me to be very calm as we made our way to the ships, so as not to raise further suspicions. But so dire was our predicament that I couldn't help myself from taking a fleet glance over my shoulder. As we rounded a corner, I caught a glimpse of the guard talking on his communicator and watching us with growing unease. I looked to Duce worriedly and saw that he knew it, too, without even looking back. He knew we had to hurry.

We searched quickly through the selection of ships before us, before settling on a smaller, blue painted craft. Duce checked the controls and fuel levels and assured us that this one would be more than enough to carry us to safety. An alarm sounded from the front gates where we entered and we knew we had to hurry. Duce pulled up a map and showed me which course to follow; one that would take us to a known but forgotten world that we could easily survive on. It was one of the most thoroughly documented planets, one that had once offered excellent prospects for colonization when the population exploded out of control. But with the advent of Genetic Pre-programming those plans fell through helplessly and were forgotten.

Suddenly we heard Dex cry out from the platform where he'd been keeping careful watch. Shouts of surprised and disgruntled officers could be heard closing in on us. Duce snatched the map from the table and quickly input half of the coordinates into the autopilot. I watched him carefully, my heart racing, as I realized very soon I would have to do the rest. When his work was done he turned back to me and held my face in his hands.

"You need time to get the ship in the air," he whispered sadly. Stared into his eyes, knowing perfectly well what he meant to do.

"I know," I sighed back sorrowfully.

"Duce, I… I am so sorry," he pulled me close and kissed my forehead passionately.

"Don't ever say that," he replied when he pulled away. "I'm not." With his thumb he caressed my cheek, wiping away the tears that had started to fall. The noises grew louder and Duce turned to call in our son. He ran up to us, wrapping his arms around my legs.

"I have to go now," Duce said gently as he knelt down next to Dex. "You stay here and be a good boy for Mommy."

"Daddy, I don't want you to go," Dex whimpered, "Why can't you come with us?"

"I know, my love, and I'm so sorry," Duce replied, his voice catching in his throat. I knew he wanted to cry just as badly as his son, but he knew his role and needed to be brave for the sake of our children.

"I wish I could come with you. But I have to stay so you and mommy can get away safely, okay?" Just as he was about to rise, Dex rushed forward and threw his arms around his father. Duce hugged him back tightly, his eyes squeezed shut, and smothered his hair and face with kisses. At last Duce pulled away from our son's grasp and I leaned forward, pulling Dex back towards me. I knew if he'd been given the chance he would've followed his father to face his doom. But this was one path I refused to let him take. Duce, as if in an afterthought, suddenly leaned toward me and pressed his lips to mine. I closed my eyes and for the first time in my life felt a warm spark of what must have been love for the man I married. It was indescribable and made me feel as if my heart was glowing. I didn't want it to end. Duce pulled away and whispered into my ear,

"Take care of our children." He then turned and hurried out of the ship without another word.

"I will," I said after him even though he'd gone. "I promise." I heard the voices closing in and rushed to the controls to close the ship's platform. Safely locked inside, I rushed Dex into a seat behind the pilot's chair and fastened him in. I told him to hold on tight to his bag and to sit very still before racing back to the controls and revving the engine to life. I ignored the increasing protests and surprised shouts as we lifted off from the ground. My heart raced faster and faster, and I made myself ignore the fact that I had never flown a ship a day in my life. Yes there were simulators in schools that we had practiced on as children, but those were only for amusement, as only a select few were breed to be pilots. I activated the autopilot just as Duce had shown me and strapped myself in as the ship rose higher into the sky. I my breath became short and distressed as I felt the ship tilt up at a slight angle. Suddenly I found myself face to face with a gorgeous display of silvery stars. In that instant my fears completely disappeared, and for a single moment, I was filled with a sense of hope that I was certain I'd lost forever. In the next instant, the ground fell away completely and we became one with the stars.

I do not know what ever happened to Duce after he left the safety of our ship. Only that he was doomed to die the moment he stepped back on our world. He was a traitor, after all, as were my son and I especially. I don't understand why had to be this way. I used to, believe it or not, and I supported it unwaveringly. But now that we've secured our freedom, now that I know my children will live on, and happily, I don't understand anymore. I don't understand what was so wrong with wanting to have another choice; what was wrong with wanting to define your own destiny. I admit that at first I never wanted that choice, had never even given a second thought to it. But once I found that suddenly it was my choice, I realized that I couldn't ever imagine giving it up. It did come with a heavy price: our home, my Duce, all of our friends and family. I know it's a price that many people wouldn't pay. But I wanted to live. I wanted my son to live. I wanted this child to be born. And now we shall.

For the very first time, we shall live….

Edited- 12/21/23