How to make stress your friend

I must admit something. I would like you to tell me a small confession first, though. If you haven't had a lot of stress in the last year, please simply raise your hand. Someone? What about a healthy dose of stress? Who has gone through a stressful period? Yes. Also me. That isn't my confession, though. I'll be honest with you: I work as a health psychologist, and my goal is to make people happy and healthy. However, I worry that what I've been teaching for the past ten years—which has to do with stress—is actually doing more harm than good. I've been telling folks for years that stress leads to illness. Everything from the common cold to cardiovascular illness is more likely as a result of it. I've essentially made stress my adversary. However, I want to change your perspective on stress today because I have changed mine. Let me begin with the study that caused me to reconsider how I handle stress in general. "How much stress have you experienced in the last year?" was the first question posed to participants in an eight-year study, which followed 30,000 adults in the United States. "Do you believe that stress is harmful for your health?" was another question they posed. After that, they looked up the deceased using public death records. (laughing) Alright. First, some awful news. Individuals with high levels of stress in the past year were 43 percent more likely to die.

However, that was only accurate for those who shared the view that stress is bad for your health. (Laughter) There was no greater risk of death for those who were under a lot of stress but did not believe that stress was bad. They actually had the lowest chance of passing away of all the participants in the study, even those with relatively moderate levels of stress. According to the researchers' estimation, throughout the eight years they monitored mortality, 182,000 Americans passed away too soon—not from stress per se, but rather from the misconception that stress is unhealthy. That's more than 20,000 fatalities annually (laughs). If that number is accurate, then thinking that stress is unhealthy ranked as the fifteenth leading cause of death in the US last year, surpassing the deaths from homicide, HIV/AIDS, and skin cancer combined. (laughing) You can understand my fear of this study. I've been expending a lot of energy reminding folks that stress is unhealthy. This study made me question, though: Is it possible to get healthier by altering your perspective on stress? In this case, science concurs. You have the power to alter how your body reacts to stress by changing your perspective on it. I want you everyone to imagine that you are taking part in a study that is meant to make you stressed out so I can explain how this works. We refer to it as the social stress test. As soon as you enter the lab, you are told that you have to give a five-minute statement on your personal shortcomings to a group of knowledgeable evaluators who are seated directly in front of you. To make sure you feel the pressure, there are bright lights and a camera pointed directly at you, sort of like this. (Laughter) Moreover, the assessors are skilled at providing you with negative nonverbal cues like this. (Takes a breath) (Laughter) Alright, enough demoralization for you now. On to part two: a math test. You're not aware of it, but the experimenter has been taught to bother you throughout. We are going to work together on this now. I'm going to enjoy myself. for myself. Alright. (Laughter) Let's all count backwards from 996 in seven-step increments. You're going to start with 996 and say this aloud as quickly as you can. Proceed! (Audience tally) Move more quickly. Please, more quickly. It's moving too slowly. (Counting the audience) End. Pause, pause, pause. That man erred in judgment.

We're going to have to restart from scratch. (laughs) You're not the best at this, are you? Alright, so you get the gist. You would undoubtedly be a little anxious if you were a participant in this research. Your breathing may be faster, your heart may be racing, and you may even start to perspire. And typically, we read these physical changes as symptoms of anxiousness or an indication that we aren't handling the pressure effectively. What if, however, you saw them as indications that your body was energetic and ready to take on this challenge? In fact, that is precisely what subjects in a Harvard University study were informed. They were instructed to reconsider their stress response as beneficial before taking the social stress test. Your racing heart is getting you ready to take action. It shouldn't be an issue if your breathing is faster. Your brain is receiving more oxygen as a result. The most intriguing discovery, in my opinion, was how the participants' physical stress response altered. They were less worried, less nervous, and more self-assured after learning to see the stress response as beneficial for their performance. Now, this is how your blood vessels constrict and your heart rate increases during a typical stress response. And for this reason, long-term stress is occasionally linked to cardiovascular disease. Being in this state all the time is not very healthy. However, in the experiment, participants' blood vessels remained relaxed in this manner when they perceived their stress response as beneficial. Although their heart was still racing, this cardiovascular profile is far healthier. It actually resembles what occurs in happy and courageous moments quite a bit. This one biological alteration over the course of a lifetime of stressful events may mean the difference between a stress-related heart attack at age 50 and a healthy, long life well into your 90s. It is evident from the emerging science of stress that one's perspective on stress is crucial.

Thus, as a health psychologist, my objective has evolved. I wish to relieve you of your worry no more. I want to make you better at stress. And we just did a little intervention. If you raised your hand and said you'd had a lot of stress in the last year, we could have saved your life, because hopefully the next time your heart is pounding from stress, you're going to remember this talk and you're going to think to yourself, this is my body helping me rise to this challenge. And when you view stress in that manner, your body believes you, and your stress reaction becomes healthier. Now I mentioned I have over a decade of demonized stress to redeem myself from, so we are going to conduct one more intervention. I want to tell you about one of the most under-appreciated components of the stress reaction, and the premise is this: Stress makes you social. To explain this side of stress, we need to talk about a hormone, oxytocin, and I know oxytocin has already gotten as much hype as a hormone can get. It even has its own sweet nickname, the cuddle hormone, because it's released when you hug someone. But this is a very small part of what oxytocin is involved in. Oxytocin is a neuro-hormone. It fine-tunes your brain's social instincts. It primes you to do actions that strengthen intimate relationships. Oxytocin makes you seek physical contact with your friends and family. It boosts your empathy. It even makes you more willing to aid and support the individuals you care about. Some people have even advised we might snort oxytocin... to become more sympathetic and kind. What most people don't know about oxytocin, though, is this. It's the hormone of stress. This is pumped out by your pituitary gland as part of the stress reaction. It is just as much a part of your stress response as the heart-pounding adrenaline. Additionally, the production of oxytocin during the stress response encourages you to look for assistance. Your body's natural stress reaction is encouraging you to express your emotions to someone rather than keeping them inside. Your stress reaction tries to alert you when someone else in your life needs help so that you may provide that support for one another.

Your stress response wants you to be surrounded by supportive individuals when things are tough in life. Alright, so how would being aware of this aspect of stress benefit your health? However, oxytocin functions outside of the brain as well. It affects your body as well, and one of its primary functions is to shield your cardiovascular system from the damaging effects of stress. Naturally, it reduces inflammation. Additionally, it keeps your blood vessels flexible under pressure. The heart, however, has the bodily effect that I find most appealing. This hormone, oxytocin, contains receptors in your heart and promotes the regeneration and healing of heart cells that have been damaged by stress. Your heart is strengthened by this stress hormone. The amazing thing is that social support and interaction with others amplifies the physiological advantages of oxytocin. Therefore, you release more of this hormone, your stress response gets healthier, and you actually recover from stress faster when you reach out to others when you're under stress, whether it's to ask for aid or to lend a helping hand. The fact that your stress reaction has a built-in stress resilience mechanism—human connection—amazes me. Before I go, I would like to tell you about one last study. A life could also be saved by this study, so pay attention. In this study, which followed 1,000 persons in the US between the ages of 34 and 93, the first question asked was, "How much stress have you experienced in the last year?" They additionally inquired, "How much time have you spent helping out friends, neighbors, people in your community?" The next five years' worth of public records were then used to determine who had passed away. Now, to start with the bad news: Every significant stressful life event, such as a family crisis or financial setback, raised the probability of death by 30%. However, and I'm sure you're expecting a "but" by now, not everyone experienced it. Individuals who provided care for others did not exhibit any increase in mortality attributable to stress. None. Resilience was bred by caring. Thus, it is evident once more that stress's detrimental effects on one's health are avoidable. You can change how stress feels for you by thinking and acting differently. You create the biology of courage when you decide to see your stress response as a source of strength. Also, you can develop resilience when you decide to stay in touch with people when things get tough. Although I wouldn't necessarily want more stressful situations in my life, this science has made me appreciate stress in a whole new way. Stress allows our hearts to open. Your pounding physical heart, which is working so hard to give you strength and energy, and your compassionate heart, which finds joy and meaning in connecting with others. And you're not just becoming more adept at handling stress when you decide to see it this way—you're also making a pretty significant statement.

You're implying that you have faith in your ability to overcome obstacles in life. And you're keeping in mind that you don't need to handle them by yourself. I'm grateful. (Claps) Chris Anderson You're telling us something that's kind of wonderful. I find it incredible that a person's life expectancy can be significantly impacted by their beliefs about stress. How would it apply to advice? For example, does it matter which way someone chooses to live between, say, a demanding work and a non-stressful career? In a way, it makes sense to accept the difficult work as long as you think you can take it. KM: That's right, and we can say with certainty that seeking purpose in life is healthier than attempting to be comfortable. Therefore, I would argue that pursuing what gives your life purpose and then having faith in your ability to manage the ensuing stress are the greatest ways to make decisions. CA: Thank you so much, Kelly. It's quite cool. (Claps)